I feel dysphoric still. All day been restless and feeling down. I’m not sick enough to need hospital yet not well enough to function well either. My husband needs me and I can’t help him much when I feel like this. A little internal voices again, silent internal but not me. Sarah helped me by playing nice songs on my radio.Thought of self harm again because it comforts me and it’s a cry for help, but tonight I couldn’t be bothered. Almost didn’t take my APs tonight. I’m not psychotic anyway so … But I did end up taking them because it will help the pdoc.
I hope I can last and endure till Wednesday ! I see dr mango then, my pdoc (not his real name of course!)
Please take your meds, at least until you see your pdoc @Hadeda. You say you’re not psychotic, but judging from your posts, you’re experiencing psychosis. Please don’t hurt yourself or your husband.
I think you might want to reconsider the idea that you don’t need to be hospitalized.
There’s a spiritual radio in my head and all the songs in my head come on it. Sarah plays nice songs and Alien irritating ones, and they send me messages in it.
Eg at the moment it’s playing Talk by Coldplay so Sarah’s saying I must see therapist and talk about my problems. Earlier it played Fix You and she’s saying she will help me
Sometimes I play songs in my head too, I consciously think of them and push them into my head - when Alien plays his . Fortunately it seems that Sarah is more present here
Alien told me earlier ‘get rid of him’ when I was showing affection to my husband. I was hit with heavy distress and didn’t want to look hubby in eye in case he read aliens mind. But I tried to ignore alien and whispered positive words to myself about hubby till alien went away