Not doing good

Todays not going well at all. I had a really bad episode in the car at about noon 4 hours ago. It was a panic attack with alot of voices all yelling horrible things and the added bonus of horrific visuals of my own death by either monsters or myself killing me.

I made it home and it continued. I ended up in the laundry room shouting at the monsters and their evil voices. Shouting they wernt real and shut the ■■■■ up …this turned to pleading no and i dont believe you.

I self medicated i can still hear them but it stoped the visuals for now…i didnt hurt myself like they wanted to but when this loratab wears off im afraid im ■■■■■■ i can feel it in my chest and head…what should i do i cant go back to a mental hospital i have a little one but i cant do this…advice please and quick…

If it’s that bad, you should contact the hospital. They probably won’t keep you.

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ER man, you should do it if you’re not able to guarantee you won’t harm yourself. The hospital man, you should go get looked at.

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Though i fear a lonely death
I shall go with no regrets
If the time has come to say goodbye
I will not run and hide
I will stand face to face
And fight against deaths cold embrace
Our swords will clash
My heart will race
And i will seal his ■■■■■■■ fate
Or i will perish and valhalla awaits…
Those that came before me
And those that shall be
Stand and be recognized
For we all ride together
And death has surely followed…

No pot it makes it worse i havent touched that in a long time and never did much as a teenager…its pain killers they calm all of it down…

I cant go there will be no one to watch my 1 year old while my gf works. I cant handle the er wait and questions and being thrown into mental prison to be questioned and sedated again. …im feeling a little better i medicated again i feel calmer and more in control. My gf had the day off so the baby is not being left alone while i yell at myself…i know its not real thats a good thing last time i was enchanted…i really appreciate the responses if i feel like im getting worse i will go to the er but for now i will fight it by myself…

how are you going now @flameoftherhine? I hope things have improved a bit for you.

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I dont know y but this post made me remember to take my nighttime meds just now so thank u @flameoftherhine . Also im sorry ur having a rough time im also going through rough patches. Try meditating it helps but i know its hard to sit still and clear ur head when all that crap is happening. But just remember like alien said if u need to go, go to the er.

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Had another bad one but calmed it my self better now distracting myself as best i can. …alot of saying its not real …

Good on you for calming yourself. Keep fighting. You are doing really well.

Hope you’re feeling better by now. You shoulld talk to your pdoc about this, paikillers aren’t the answer to this.

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You’re doing right by talking to us here. Now is a time when you need to get the help of others. Don’t be afraid to lean a little. The pain pills are very addictive. I wouldn’t rely on those too much. Are you taking any benzo’s? That might be a better alternative than pain medications.