I was two months clean, the temptation set in. It started with just forgoing my morals. I won $1300 at the casino, so that was vindication and so there went my control…so I had all this money, and I had the same urge–leave everything behind. Now I’m home after being the closest to death I have ever been.
Please don’t make mistakes with your life. Freedom is within/internal. It’s not this romanticized idea of being on the road/a nomad. Freedom is the choice you make, what you do and your self-will, and drugs take you away from yourself.
Drugs are brainwashing/mind control. They really are, if you think about actual brainwashing, think about how they funneled crack into the inner cities and how gov. protects the opium fields in Afghanistan to perpetuate the crime/drugs/addiction. To keep us dependent on a life of crime, or recklessness.
And Abilify enhances my thinking, it doesn’t suppress me.
I have friends in the Tenderloin. They have no regrets.
Are we talking all drugs, or just the ones the law says are bad? Because aps are mind control too. Don’t be fooled.
They have given me my life back. APs are why I have a wife and kid, a career, a nice place to live, nice things, and a life I enjoy living. I’m still free to have opinions and express them within reason, just like everyone else.
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I would not give up on the progress you’ve made. I would rather feel my emotions, even if it means I have to feel them. Maybe reach out to a peer recovery person?
Its a complicated thing drugs. Some people do just fine on even heroin or meth. All I know is when I personally am doing bad I get into hard drugs telling myself Im one of the ones who can handle it or simply dont care at all
You have to know yourself and what you can do. If you truly belive you are not getting better then you just want to feel something positive. Im not against that but there are consequences to all drugs aps included. Ive accepted the consequences of drugs. They will always be a part of me, and I do them sometimes now because I need something always. Maybe you do too. I cant judge because I am not clean. Just know the consequences of what you do
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Maybe I don’t want any of that anymore. In all my effort, none of it was ever truly accomplished. Now I’m psychotic, so having to continue this effort while being drugged with societal approved meds is supposed to intice me? I’m kind of sick of being inticed by societies false offerings, only to end up with nothing to show for it.
I think antipsychotics are appropriate for some people
May be overused but just like opioids
Opioids are appropriate for people in pain often.
Most opioid deaths are due to fentanyl or mixing other depressants
Crack epidemic was used to target minorities yes
it’s the addictions, the laws, and societies misunderstandings of drugs which really bring it down
I think a problem big time is we teach people you can only be an addict or abstinent. Or lie about drugs so people tend to find gripes with the lies and end up overdoing it
Really addiction is one of the worst things that ever happened to me
While drugs are one of the best
Shame to confuse the two predicaments
But if you would sacrifice your safety to do drugs, it’s not a good thing.
Society doesn’t teach us of the responsible user IE Carl l Hart
Well you can’t mope and say it should be the other way if you have a problem
A drug problem is a drug problem
In 100 years there will be wayyyyy more drugs. But farrrrr less drug problems if were still around given the societal trend
Like I said you gotta take responsibility for the present though.
Is that fair to say @fractaled ?? or no
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Drugs are stupid, they just recreate things the the brain can do on its own if we fully understood how to do that. I would rather take Nootropics, vitamins or supplements. They are less dangerous. Most hard drugs are deadly, designed to keep you hooked on an artificial high. I got off crack, and now I realize I was brainwashed into thinking I would never feel good without it. I thought that was happiness. It was a disgusting addiction. I lost so much, hurt people I loved, and no matter how much I tried to run away from it—it only created more sadness. My brother disowned me, etc. Now I am slowly regaining my father’s trust, and even after what happened recently he is letting me live here. I don’t want to let the guilt take me out, I’m going to keep staying clean and overcome this addiction and the behaviors that led to it also
The illness itself feeds into the addiction. I was out of it when I relapsed/didn’t feel like myself, like an empty vessel. I just didn’t care, but I wanted to. Drugs arent the answer. They dont teach you how to love yourself, they don’t help you function, they just offer an escape.
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I’m not attached to my emotions, they’re few and far between. Peer groups aren’t for me. “The worst thing about getting clean is becoming religious.”
I don’t understand,
You think drugs are going to fix that?
You’ll drift further and further from reality on drugs.
All Im saying is it is complicated. There are people who function on drugs. In that sense it acts as a self medication for sadness or ennui. People in chronic pain take percocet or valium daily. Are they addicts or patients? And many people in high stress industries are on amphetamines off prescription. Not so well kept secret. They use it as a means to an end. The means may not be pretty, but the end is justified
A deep self awareness is required to come out unscathed. True understanding. I dont have it. ONly @fractaled can know if she does
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No, I don’t think drugs will fix anything.
I don’t want reality.
289 days, nice.
300 will hit the spot
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Have you tried just smoking some cannabis?
I mean, it’s not like a real drug fix,
But it’ll get you high and probably not put your life in danger.
If you go get on real drugs on the street odds of you being jailed and/or becoming a prostitute are high.
I’m not saying cannabis is good,
Just offering less dangerous options.
You don’t want that life.
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Lol and if 300 doesn’t do it, 350 will, or some increment thereafter.
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I smoke weed daily. Once you’ve done hard drugs, weed isn’t what it used to be unfortunately.
Take it one day at a time
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I’m not religious…but the AP’s seem to have started working and I don’t have the privilege to do drugs right now because they’ll kill me and I have all sorts of health issues/physical ones.
If that’s the life you want to live, go for it. I have met some amazing people through recovery and I have lost friends who would have done anything not to be hooked on heroin or painkillers. Not trying to shame you, but Meth is illegal anyways, you’re risking a lot for an artificial ecape.
I used to be on hard drugs and cannabis has helped me stay clean off of those.
But I know what you mean.
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