I’ve complained about my neighbors enough but earlier this evening the counselor for these apartments came by and talked to the women next door and then she came to my door and both of them came in and we talked. It was done like adults, civilized, respectful.
But we talked about one minor point for about 20 minutes and that was it. WTF is wrong with me? The ladies have pulled some really rotten, low, underhanded sh*t that you just don’t do. But the woman appeared to still like me, she looked me right in the eye with a very friendly look. But now I’m even doubting she meant it. I’m no saint, but I have to look out for myself.
And all that got settled is that she can sit in back under the carport. She had moved because she thought it bothered me (which it has, but I was willing to concede that point, in order to win others) I think because she was so nice, I tried to take it easy on her.
The guy upstairs died very recently so with all due respect, I thought things would get easier. And a new guy moved in upstairs and does a kind of weird, creepy little walk above. I’m going upstairs in a little while to just meet him and talk to him and see what I’m in for, maybe nip any problems in the bud.
But I thought the meeting went well, but 5 minutes later when they left I thought about it and I realized the only good thing about it was I proved to the counselor that I am willing to talk things out and I can talk rationally. Which actually is a “given” for me. But the meeting was ludicrous. The ladies have been playing off my being nice for months. The little laughs, the craziness, turning every ounce of intensity of their problems and focusing it on me. My mind survived two solid years of mentally crippling psychosis. It survived four years of crack addiction and the lifestyle of a practicing addict. Hell, I have literally been to over a thousand 12-step meetings. But now my mind is a little weaker, a little more tired after 38 years of paranoid schizophrenia. Can’t deal with hate as easily.
Anyways, I will have to wait a week to talk to the counselor, she’s going out of town. I’ve handled bad roommates and neighbors before, but you can’t fight someone who ingratiates themselves into your world and then takes advantage of it to use against you. It’s not like I’m physically afraid, it’s the psychological aspect of just wearing me down. I can surely handle it but it just exhausts me. I need a little help until I get back on track and can defend myself better. This is pretty much what’s going on. So much for my golden years.