See, now this is where schizophrenia is a bitc*

I have many problems with neighbors. With some neighbors I think it is a little of a culture thing and I gather they think very poorly of me. I was friendly with the two older ladies next door for awhile but that went south starting 9 or 10 months ago.

But at first they liked me and I liked them so I’ll put on my resume that I get along with women as usual. But incidents happened that I thought were deal breakers and I thought there was mutual animosity between us. And I started pounding on the ceiling occasionally when the dangerous jerk-off upstairs taunted me. But the property manager told me that was a reason enough to get evicted so I quit cold turkey.

But I might have cussed out neighbors and they complained but that stopped several months ago. But just last week the counselor for this apartment was over here for a meeting. I get along great with her as she pointed out just two weeks ago. She understands me because we are both from the same generation and when my roommate lost her mind and claimed I had several restraining orders against me which was blatantly untrue, and that I pounded on her door (again not true, I knocked on her door to remind her of a meeting) and said she was scared of me (yes, 77nick77 is a vicious, dangerous guy) (not).

Anyways, the counselor understands that it is more likely I would be taken advantage of by certain women or men then to scare. But anyways I walked out back last week to ask the older woman if they were bothering me. I’ve knocked on the losers door upstairs a few times and he never answers but my point is that I’m not singling out women, I voice my complaints to men (if you can call them that).

But I was polite to the neighbor woman and she denied bothering me but as I turned away to leave her alone her face lit up like a Christmas tree or the Fourth of July and she grinned at me. She must have seen my good side and she saw I don’t hate her (I have felt those feelings before but I still like a part of her). But she immediately warmed up to me and it was such a relief to her that we started talking like old friends.

She told me she gets “Meals on Wheels” which is a program here in California that brings meals to seniors to their front door and she said she has a couple of extra meals that I can have. I was astounded this was happening but I went along with it and she also gave me a half-gallon of milk and promised me more food and just like that the feud could have ended. But enter schizophrenia.

I assumed she had some angle or ulterior motive and this was a way to take advantage of me. And I still heard laughter and it still felt like they were listening into my apartment as I moved around. But when I saw them walk by I happen to be in a good mood so I gave them neutral looks. But just an hour ago I got home and pulled into parking space out back and the older lady just happened to be heading out there to sit.

Assuming we were still on bad terms I tried not to look at her or bother her. But then she abruptly went back to her apartment and she looked perturbed, confused and maybe just a tiny bit hurt. I judge situations wrong all the time but it dawned on me that she thought our feud was over too and that my appropriate response should have been to look at her and be friendly. And that’s what disturbed her. I blew it. I could really, really use an ally here or at least a little relief on at least just one of the fronts from the crap coming to me from all directions. I blame myself and schizophrenia. I think if I had relief and peace from at least just one direction I could stay here and handle the rest. Now, the plan to move is back on.

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Relax. People are gonna be people…haters are gonna hate.

Yeah, but keep it in your own apartment and give me privacy.

Careful with overly reading into people. Sorry you have such a stressful living situation.

I think you are making good efforts. I don’t have very much experience with my neighbors over many years, so I can’t give any ideas.

{{{Nick, Nick, Nick}}}

I have neighbors. I really don’t have much of an idea how to relate to them.

Try a little Serenity Prayer?


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