Starting to feel guilty about leaving

Every year I fly out and spend the majority of December with my family.

This year I feel super guilty about it.

I’ll be leaving my husband alone to care for my mother in law,

Which is especially tricky because she’s on home dialysis and can’t do it without a lot of assistance.

You pretty much have to do it all for her.

Its a lot of work and he already has a regular job.

Not to mention, my dogs.

I feel bad about leaving them too.

They have separation anxiety and don’t consider my mother in law company.

Plus, they’re a lot to care for, with trips outside to potty alone.

I feel awful leaving it all to my husband, though he fully supports me going on the trip and insists he can do it alone.

Am I right to feel bad?

If not,

How do I get past these worries and enjoy my vacation?

I wouldn’t sweat it, she did raise him and take care of him when he was young, no?

It’s only right he repays her as she gets older.

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You know that other thread that’s roiling and boiling right now?

How suffering can lead to enlightenment?

I’m sure your hubby will thank you. Eventually.

Enjoy your trip secure in the knowledge that what is happening needs to happen.

[ mic drop ]


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Every year you do this, it’s not like it was a huge surprise.

Guilt for what? For taking care of your tribe? For taking care of someone who won’t try to help themself? For taking some time to yourself, away from the drama?

No, I don’t think there should be guilt there. You deserve to see your family, to have your tradition, to have some control.

How many times have you had to put off doing what you want, for her?


You’ve been looking after her so much you deserve a nice break.
She’s not even your actual mum but still uve been looking after her so much


Don’t feel guilty.
You deserve a break.
Your husband will manage, I’m sure.

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I agree with the others. You deserve a break. You’ll have your phone with you so you can always check up on how they’re doing.

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you are free to go !! no guilt required…your hubby said he can handle it…he wants you to be happy…good for him !! now gooooo…and feel happy !!


Maybe only go for a week (or two) ?

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No way you should feel guilty. He has gotten his vacation time while you handled everything on your own. Now is his turn. He’s happy to step up and give you your break. You should take it and not worry.

I can relate to the guilt though. Also want to be able to do as much as I can for my husband to show him how much I love and support him. But he probably feels the same way, and would value an opportunity to take care of things so you can relax.


Don’t feel guilt Rex! Everything will be taken care off!

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