Things are just suffocating sometimes. I almost feel as much disrest and confusion here as I did at my old jobs.
I had a rough night the other night, and all I wanted to do the next day was run away. Literally living at a campsite would be more fulfilling than this.
I’m not only unemployed and carless… I’m confined to my room… I have zero privacy beyond it and I’ve spent 99.99% of the last 3 months within 50 feet of my dad.
He couldn’t be happier than to have me around, but that’s how short sighted he’s always been
He’s proud of putting a roof over my head… But more just for his own sense of accomplishment.
■■■■’s awash… No element of my old routines have been able to stay put together.
Beyond that this neighborhood is just so plain… You never see pedestrians… It’s an automobile exclusive city in the Midwest. Nothing but steak and potatoes for dinner down here…
People don’t question anything… and at the end of the day it’s all just a wall they’ve put up so they don’t have to question themselves.
Dudes this crap just seems inhuman to me… and I could ignore all of it… I just gotta get my own apartment where I can use my bathroom and kitchen without having someone to contemplate every time I do.
I mean this is my dad… My issues with him are obviously deeper than this situation alone. Except now out of respect I can’t even perceive him the way I need to… I have to constantly consider how he perceives himself… and it’s just a mind knot. I don’t trust this set up will be peaceable… And I don’t like it anyways.
Just venting… I think I can pull off moving out by august… But I gotta get my car moved down here and get a job going…
I mean the TV! It’s on every second… there is no way I can have more space without taking his and I just don’t want to deal with the politics of it.
