Schizophrenia.com

Spring and Dating

#1

It’s sort of interesting to me how much the topic of love and dating has come up lately. Who says we’re not shaped by the seasons.

Lots of people have been talking dating and how it never worked out for them but they managed to find someone despite dating mishaps anyway.

My very early dating life was odd because I would get beyond nervous about sitting there with a person and I’d be afraid about talking as badly as I did. I’d really work myself up about not being as good at talking as I am at writing, and I’d combat that by bringing my kid sis on dates with me.

Official “Dating” never once worked out for me. It wasn’t helped by the fact that as my kid sis grew, she became an incurable match maker and I ended up on so many blind dates… they were painful.

I admit, I dated one girl simply because she got along with my kid sis so well, but she and I hardly spoke.

I’ve had much more luck just being friends and seeing where that friendship goes. Sometimes it goes out the window, sometimes it goes into the other room and sits down to stay a while. But to just see a girl and then do the date thing has never worked out for anything long lasting.

I’m sure everyone has been on some bad dates… But has anyone ever gotten a relationship out of a date?

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#2

Yes, I like dating, which I consider fun. I’ve developed several relationships out of dating.

Incidentally, I an also very comfortable in a job interview, which some view as a similar process.

Jayster

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#3

I have not dated anybody in the past 24 years. At the university I had no difficulties of getting girlfriends, then I got married in America and this relationship lasted from 1990 to 2000, 10 years, after this I have not dated anybody, I feel happy when I am alone. I loved my stay in Paris in the spring of 1988, the love of Paris when two Finnish women tried to get me to sleep with both of them, I did decline this, maybe I should have tried. In my little town at the age of 47 there are not very many options, once I got very close to one woman whose ‘husband’ was in a jail for an attempted murder, but I stopped it before it got too close. The life is just so much fun sometimes.

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#4

SurprisedJ, because you started talking about girls, which one of these is the best looking one …

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#5

I have a deep admiration for strong self supporting women. I think they are all pretty. Thank you for posting this.

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#6

What’s that song say to you if you put words to it on the subnet of me being an idiot I think people could no music to an extent on a simple subject and what exactly I could never know what it says to you I think that means I’m below average intelligence and do you no I’m I unattractive and off what I for action it would say I’m an idiot and if I have no chance to date someone what says that intelligence attractiveness or both and what says that

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#7

Dating worked for me. Just keep your head up! I was kinda hitting a plane when I met him. I wasn’t getting worse and I wasn’t getting better. I started talking to him for friendship. Its not worked out with any guys I saw and immediately decided I wanted to date. Just make friends, and let them win you over. If they care enough they’ll go the long route.

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#8

Me and my husband dated for 6 months before I decided to move in with him and see how it worked out. That was 16 years ago.

I never really dated anyone before that. My first boyfriend and I were just togeather somehow after a boat cruise. It didn’t last very long because I didn’t know how to handle my emotions correctly and he was very much immature.

The girl I lived 3 years with I knew from school. She was cool until we moved in togeather and started controlling me. I still wasn’t “right in my head”, had a lot of voices and delusions but somehow I kept a straight facade and she didn’t notice. She noticed my cold emotions though. I used to drink heavily and didn’t take responsibility over our home or the relationship. I tried to study but it’s hard when you’re constantly drunk.

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#9

Whatever your situation is, please, express your opinions, because it is nice to read some ‘not so usual’ postings, cheers

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#10

Ugh I am not bad at dating, I usually make a great first impression on the first date, but after that things usually dont get too far. It’s like I run out of things to say or something. That and I get sexually frustrated. My current partner is a friend with benefits, we went on one date, it went charmingly well, we talked for 2 hours and had all this stuff in common, then the next day we agreed to be friends with benefits.

I might note that we met because she is highly functioning as a medical student with bipolar disorder, and I am a student with schizophrenia. We agreed on no romance and just being casual.

the two girls I dated recently before finding someone to have sex with followed a similar progression…perfect first date, good second date, average third date. I might note that one of the girls was pretty clearly schizotypal and I can’t stand the lack of eye contact and no touching thing. Like we hugged but she didnt want me to hold her hand at the zoo and I was pretty disappointed at that. She would be fun and happy acting then be quiet and not look at me, like yo-yo’ing back and forth between happy and enjoying my company and then being afraid of me.

The other girl just quit answering my texts and calls after normal dating. I kissed her goodnight like we did the other times and then I never heard back. That sort of thing pisses me off, when they dont even say “Im not ready for a relationship” or hell, I would even take a “■■■■ you”, but nothing at all? Come on.

Kurt Cobain noticed the trend of dating in the spring too, James!

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#11

Hi j - I never formally dated, but had female friends with benefits - let us just say. I always felt uncomfortable with dating

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#12

i got married at 22, split up years later, got back together, split up again, moved out, and i haven’t dated anyone since. i nursed my husband till his death. he was my best friend and i loved him as such because i didn’t have it left in me to dig deeper due to circumstances beyond my control. i’ve never met anyone else since. who knows, maybe in the future but i’ll never marry again that’s for sure.

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#13

i was hopeless with women, the only women i attracted were the neurotic and crazy, and i’m sz !?
needless to say i did not go on many dates…
but i did talk to myself a lot …
take care

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#14

I don’t know. Maybe i look kinda weird or give off a weird vibe but I’ve never really had a date. Actually I’ve had two dates but one was a blind date after my schiz diagnosis and it was awful. I would like to meet someone someday though. I’m not giving up hope :smiley:

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#15

A teenage girl is about to go on her first date, The boy is going to pick her up in his pickup truck at 7 PM, and she has to be home by Midnight. So she’s carefully groomed and waiting for him, and her Mom says the following: “Find whatever he says fascinating.” It’s not bad advice, really.

After the date, the truck pulls up just before midnight, and the girl comes in. Her mom comes down and asks, :“How did it go?”

"Fine, Mom. Well not really. Mom, he talked about transmissions for four hours.

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#16

As I look back, I still have had no luck “dating” but I have had a lot of luck with friendship that grows. I think because when I meet a new friend and that friendship grows, then I’m not so nervous and when I’m not nervous, I don’t float out of my head.

It turned out I was “dating” a girl for a bit before I ever knew it. I thought she was just running into my sis and I when we were out and about. I didn’t consider any of those to be dates. According to her, they were. She got mad at me for not being as involved in the “relationship” as she was. I didn’t even know we had one.

This part of my life is changing again. I’m in a friendship that is growing into something more. It doesn’t matter how many times that happens, it surprises me every time.

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#17

Thanks it’s all cool

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#18

Went on a date once when I was 18. It was my last date too. That bad. Pretty much. But it didn’t help that I had a bad dose of acne at the time. That dented my confidence. I basically tried to conceal my acne by sitting in the light (or shaded light that is). Pimples are a curse!! :wink:

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#19

I went on a date not too long ago, but he turned out to be a libertarian, and thought that prostitution should be legalized. What does he think of women that he thinks that prostitution should be legalized??? Needless to say, that was the first and last time I dated him. I am on Match.com for a few months, and I have received some interest, but most of the men are looking for non-smokers, and I just can’t quit right now. I guess I am okay with being single for the time being. That’s one reason why I am trying to prepare for a career by going to college.

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#20

But do you date for the love or money or the fun of it?

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