Spilling my thoughts

Hello forum …
I keep sinking in and crying out and no one can hear me. I’m so terrified my life is ruined
I don’t know why I’m here, I can’t imagine really having schitzoprenia , hallucinations sound absolutely terrifying , I’m so scared I will have them. I just do everything to myself

I know people would miss me but I feel almost committed now. I hate being in this state of not knowing what’s wrong with me. A label would be so relieving

As soon as I start to visually hallucinate , if I do, I’m outa here. I’m a very easily scared person. I can’t imagine living days in terror with hallucinations of horror. I don’t know how any of you do it

I’m so tired from my medication now, and so sad. So so so sad. I just complain all the time. The meds stop me from panic attacks. I want everything to stop

Do you think there is rebirth?

My girlfriend says I am sick and need help, so do others , my family thinks I am fine. My brain is torture. It tells me to hurt others, even my girlfriend. It comes up with plots. But maybe I do it all to myself and I’m the one to blame

I’m too tired for all this and the damage is done. I almost feel as though I should do something to myself so people could finally understand. So i don’t string everyone along for nothing. I’m holding onto the rope, they don’t know my impulses, I don’t give in often, if I did I would need to go to the hospital

Everything I see my mind tells me how I can injure myself with it. What I should do. Who I should yell at.

Is this me forever? I am done soon enough . This is merely a reprise of my life I think

Do you have a psychiatrist? If so you need to talk to him. The hallucinations aren’t that bad A few weeks ago I saw a yellow cat run down the church pew. It was funny actually. Years ago I saw a good looking Hispanic man on the road outside my house. It didn’t scare me. They’re not real. There’s nothing to be scared of. But talk to your doc. Meds can help. Are you on meds?

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I don’t have a psychiatrist at the moment but when I was hospitalized last they put me on Cloneazepam which has been working well to sedate me… but it makes me feel like a vegetable

I’m so depressed i feel like I can’t go on much longer

My step dad does not say I am sick m. Am I not sick ? All a joke? I’m a fantastic actor, the best in the world

I’m terrified to be in the hospital overnight

In fact I’m so good at acting I must be the most intelligent person . Everyone is so easy to fool. I’m scared of myself

I need to rid the demon inside me . He’s too smart . Humans are too easy to take advantage of and I’m terrified I’m psychopathic. How is it so easy ??

Perhaps I can remove my head. The recital and game told me to

Don’t do anything rash. It can get better.

you’re one of them aren’t you . Don’t convince me when I’ve made up my mind … you must be scared I’m gaining on you…

I know you said you don’t want to be in the hospital but you may need to go to the ER. You don’t sound well.

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Soon I’ll face you in the real world and we can stop talking through machines

One of what?

The mentally ill? Yeah.

It will not always be this bad.

One of them… oh I’m sorry … I cannot control myself … I’m losing touch… and I’m so tired

The ER doctors are one of them

I’m a robot this is a video game !!! So I will remove my parts :slight_smile:

Maybe I secretly want to go to the ER because I’m an attebsion seeking pig. This is what controls me . I mean well and I am very sorry

It sounds like the ER might be a good idea, if you are going to hurt yourself.

I’m too tired to do anything right now . But I hurt myself at school and laugh HAHAHAHAHA
People concerned for me
It’s all a jooooooke dont you see

I cannot control my mind it’s spinning . I will try to sleep . Graphic images of stabbing myself in my head

But I’m not sick are I sick ? No I just

I don’t know. But sounds like it would be good to talk to a doctor.

Okay… will do tomorrow… for now sleep
Thank you for talking to me :,(

I’m very upset
No one is here

Thank you :frowning: keeping me company. I will cry for thankful if I had tears thanks to meds

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Hi @doodle. I’m sorry you’re having a rough time right now.

It’s important that you be proactive about your mental health, especially since you’re still quite young. :slight_smile:

Research has confirmed repeatedly that the earlier that people get treatment for the early signs of mental illness (especially schizophrenia and related disorders) the better the long term outcome for the person.

You can read more here:
The Importance of Early Treatment for Schizophrenia and Psychosis

Also, here is list of Early Diagnosis & Treatment Centers. Maybe there is one near where you live.
Worldwide Early Diagnosis & Treatment Centers for Psychosis & Schizophrenia

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Hello @Loke @Moonbeam @twinklestars

I would just like to apologize for my behaviour last night … I had a stressful day and it all boiled over after a conversation with my step dad… I’m really sorry if I just constantly complain on this forum I don’t mean to but I’m glad you guys were there when I needed someone to talk to …

I feel a lot more lucid now after my nights sleep but still quite sad. I hate this illness it’s invisible and no one can see how much I struggle

The idea of stabbing myself has been on my mind for s while now. It’s my new plan after they locked up all my meds. I’m so miserable in this state. I’m sorry if i make everyone else miserable, I don’t want to be a burden, but it helps to have somewhere to lean on I guess

I’m sorry ;,(

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