Well, first off, I’m currently trying to get on medicine that works. The whole process is exhausting. Everyone says to just take the medicine and I’ll feel better but it doesn’t work that way. What do you do when it gets really bad inside your head and medicine doesn’t help? I try to distract myself with things like I have in the past but it doesn’t work. I end up getting caught up inside myself and I feel like I’m so close to losing it. I would tell my doctor but I’m scared he’ll want to commit me again and I’m scared to go in the hospital again. Hallucinations are as strong as ever and its hard to resist them. Its also harder for me to take the medicine since something inside me thinks it is poison and I do believe that. Sometimes I lose sight of what is immediately in front of me and its harder to connect. I’ve been through a lot of medicine and I’m scared that I’ll never find the right medicine or doctor. I’m quite sure my doctor is part of the bad people but he’s the only one in the area and my parents really like him. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m on the brink of falling off the cliff, if that makes sense. Sorry this is so long.
Catastrophe, I know exactly what you are feeling, I’ve been there. Keep on taking the meds even when you don’t want to because they may not be working now sometimes it takes a while for them to get into your system. Distractions are a great idea too. But when those feelings and fears start to bubble up try to be gentle with yourself. Recognize and acknowledge those thoughts and feelings as what they are, they are only temporary. You can get through the tough times because you’ve already done so in the past. Try not to judge yourself to critically or harshly. The way I look at hospitalizations are I’ve been there before and it really wasn’t so bad. Not where I’d ever choose to be but I was safe and taken care of there. Going in again won’t be the end of the world, its just a mental health tune up like you would do to fix your car. take care.
Keep in mind that while some meds (like Haldol, which I take) work in a few hours. Others take weeks. Just hang in there, I know it’s rough right now. Try to relax and enjoy your day the best you can. 
Thanks both you. Calms me down a little.
I agree with the other posters, just take it easy and relax, things will pick up in time. It just takes time. By the way, welcome to the forum! This is a great place to hang out, and its one of the positives of having schizophrenia…plenty of dossing time on the internet!
Keep up posting!
Just wanted to say hi and welcome. I think many of us have been where you are. Just trying to figure out what in the world just happened to us, hoping the meds work, confused, looking for answer and some way to get back in control.
Your not alone. It may take some time, but eventually and even maybe soon it will fall into place and you’ll start to get back to solid ground. Trust your parents. There might be a way to talk to your doc with out getting committed again.
It’s hard to not listen to the murmuring in the head, and it’s hard to ignore the hallucinations, but you can do it. I take a bath, get away from stress, ask family to just go for a small walk with me and breathe.
I do hope you feel better soon.
Thanks everyone really. This makes me feel better at least. And thanks for the welcomes.
thought i would say hi.
take care
welcome…
flowers to brighten your day…give yourself and the medications time to work together…i know my meds take a long time to “kick in” hang in there
Welcome! I know what you are going through. My voices told me my meds are poison. I was terrified and it almost kicked my butt back into hospital. But I DECIDED to trust my pdoc who said I need to take my medicin. I was still terrified but I had made a choise. I chose to not trust my voices. Voices are bad. They scare you. But they can’t harm you. Only you can do that to yourself. It took about two weeks on Quetiapine and some really good sleep to make me come back to my senses.
Welcome Catastrophe - This is a very helpful site
antiphycotics need to build up in your system to be effe3ctive i think. only you can make the decision