Relapse, paranoia, delusions

DX'd - Sz/SzA
1

I think I relapsed.

I’m actually 100% sure that I did.

The shadows are back. They are covering their ears repeatedly. I begged them to not come back. I’ve been wiping spiders off of my arms for a while. They’re still here nonetheless. The voices want me dead. They want me to kill myself and tear my skin out. I am just so paranoid and worn out

I feel like a failure. I need to tell my mom that I need to be back on my meds but I’m sure she’s going to constantly ask me like a thousand questions.

I’m still psychotic but thank you to one of the members here that helped me out tonight. You saved me.

I’m going to make sure that I don’t tear things out. I’ve been having hallucinations over and over again.

As I was screaming in my mind I suddenly felt the heart pain- the sharp throbbing pain when I am really stressed out.

I just want to drown.

I am so sorry, you guys. I have failed you. I have burdened you. I have absolutely burdened you.

2

We are here for you. Ask for antipsychotics.
Why did you quit?

3

My doctor took me off of it
I don’t know if I am real or not

4

Okay now the shadow is standing right in front of me and it’s coming closer

5

Get back in ur meds as soon as possible

6

I will…if I can overcome the fear of my mom

For some reason my hallucination is watching me as I type this. It is doing absolutely nothing.

I am really tired…

7

Ignore it but you have to get back on the med before you get worse and end up in the hospital tell your mom its urgent

8

You feel as if dead?

9

Qget an emergency appointment with pdoc and get meds asap.

10

Unless you’re a minor, you don’t need your mother’s permission to go on meds.

If the doctor refuses, tell them how bad it is and what you’re experiencing, and/or go to another doctor.

2 Likes
11

Can you maybe go to the hospital?

12

Hugs @anon10648258. Please get back on meds as soon as you can. You’re not a burden to anyone here. I love being able to give you support, and I know many other people feel the same way. Depression lies and tells you that you aren’t worth helping, but you are! Please keep coming here for help. But also, please go to a professional and get actual medication.

2 Likes
13

@Ninjastar @Qirat @MisterCrowley @Pikasaur @Noise @Om_Sadasiva

Thank you. I didn’t wake up psychotic but I am still seeing a hallucination beside me, watching me.

3 Likes
14

You’re still seeing it?

15

Yeah. I assume he stayed the entire night awake

16

He’s still here.

17

He’s sitting here watching me…seems like a friendly shadow.

18

Me too. I feel constantly like I’m a fake and a liar and I struggle to stay on meds. If it weren’t for my husband I’d stop them. I’m terrified that I’m not really ill but pretending. It’s scary.

19

This topic was automatically closed 95 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.