So I applied for this job that I think works for ME. Something easy, controlled. My Brother is the CEO of a composting company which makes over a million dollars a year. He suggested I live with him for a few weeks and work as a laborer. I used to do landscaping. So I’m no stranger to laborious jobs.
But I think about getting tired, hungry, being surrounded by strangers. And all I can think is that this is a recipe for paranoia.
I told my brother I don’t think it would work because I’d probably get paranoid and he responded “Don’t you get paranoid anyway?” Then he proceeds to tell me if I don’t get a job I’ll be stuck in a rut. So it’s time to “shake things up.” Does anyone else just feel like this is a really insincere and ignorant thing to say?
I told my mom about it and she suggested that maybe if I just do it for a while I’ll get used to it and won’t get paranoid. I told her schizophrenia doesn’t care about how many times you do something. It can happen whenever.
My issue with work is not paranoia or positive symptoms but negative symptoms. I tried working but I couldn’t hold a regular job for more than a month except for the easy job at my mother’s accounting office. I feel great the first few days but then lose interest and energy, I start being unable to wakup early to go to work and wanting to stay in bed at home all day. I get bored fast of the job. I think its avolition and anhedonia.
I managed to work with animations, but it was only at home, I did it because I didn’t need to change clothes, brush my teeth and go to a place for that, I was much slower and ended up stopping, but I can go back again
That’s interesting but I know what you mean. As the days went on I just wanted to quit more and more. I was hoping every day would be a slow day so I didn’t have to do anything. Eventually I just stopped showing up. The manager called me for a week straight. Finally I picked up and made up that I was in the hospital. I couldn’t just quit normally.
@Aziz I feel the same - that’s the main problem with getting a job. I only had one job - in 2012 - and it lasted a few months before I married. Now I don’t work. I find myself wanting to but the avolition is awful
What if you go in the middle? Pushing ourselves a little can be helpful, even if it’s uncomfortable at first. Maybe see if you can just work 4 hours (a half- day) 3 times a week. Make a happy playlist and play music while you work.
I think they have good intentions,family worries and wants to help. I know when I keep moving & working( even when I dont want to) I spend less time overthinking things. The more focused on the task you can become the better, like a vacation from your own thoughts.
I’m hoping this part time job schedule me the interview they said they would. I think I can handle a couple hours a day. It’ll be tough though. My motivation is so low. I’m really inconsistent trying to do repeated actions over and over.
the same happens to me, my mother screamed a lot when I soiled plates, pots and glasses and didn’t wash them. But lately I have been able to wash a little because of extreme boredom
I think your going to surprise yourself at how good you feel after a shift and when you get a paycheck.
If you start to feel overwhelmed just focus on being grateful for something - it will get you oout of the negitives
Or try putting all your focus into feeling one thing, like your breath or the wind…your muscles as you stand…etc
But I think once you get focused on your task you’ll be stronger than you think.
I don’t think people without this disability or any disability understand how important it is to find a job that works with the illness. Triggering all your worst symptoms so they can approve of your choice in job just seems so willingly unempathetic of them at times. I guess it’s harder because they assume you can think your way out of it but once your off the plane of reality it’s over at least for me. I’m very happy for you though that you’ve applied for one that will work and I hope you get it!!!