It was a surprise when I got a call to a new hire event, but I did everything right on the application. So I announce this to my family, which my mom is obviously happy that I might be getting a job. My brother acts happy but who knows what he’s really thinking.
So the general process of me getting a job and then getting paranoid and suspicious tends to follow a pattern. Brother makes a lot of phone calls where I can barely hear him or what I do hear is elevated coded language. Or it might just be an innocuous conversation that doesn’t jive well with the way humans generally talk to each other.
Either way, it triggers me when he acts like this. Eventually leading to me giving up on the job for various reasons, not the least of which is a weird suspicion that I might get abducted or killed while I’m getting off work. It’s a frightening scenario, however unlikely it might be, but it consistently disrupts my ability to hold onto a job.
I’m going to try harder than ever this time to stay on an even keel. I really hope this works out. Negative symptoms also disrupt my work especially in a potentially physical job such as the one I may be getting. I’m going to see if I can take some coq10 for keeping up energy.
Overall I’m really happy that I’ve gotten an opportunity to get out of the house and make money, but I’m also worried both about the scenario I described and possibly disappointing myself again by leaving.