Schizophrenia.com

Something is not right with me

I’m don’t know what in the world is going on with me. I’ve been really irritable lately. I’ve not been nice to the people I should be nice to. Yet, to make up for it, I gave a homeless guy in the park $25.00 bucks. I hate to say it, but when he offered me a drink, I was very tempted. I managed to say no thanks… but man, that took more work then it should have. I got mad at her for stealing my bus pass… but I found it in my wallet after she left. I also can’t find my shoes. I also got mad at her for stealing my car keys… but I found those too.

I’ve flipped out on my sis 5 times this weekend, so much so that last night she packed a small bag and spent the night at our brother Jack’s house. I was here all alone, all night, and I hate it. I slept horrid. Every little noise made me think someone was breaking in. I’m hoping that when she gets off work she’ll come back home.

I forgot my meds last night for a while, but when I remembered, it was too late to eat so I took the Latuda without food, and my stomach really hurt for a while. I felt really sick. Then my brain was thinking my meds got poisoned. Finally the stomach ache went away, but WOW… When they say take with food, they MEAN take with food.

I have no idea why I’m hitting this anger phase again. I work so hard not to. I hope I get over it soon. This is no way to live. I don’t want to be that angry guy. I’m trying to think it out… I’m trying to figure out what is making me so angry and anxious and what is happening to me.

■■■■,I know what your going thru,but I think this will pass soon…

A few days ago,I am in the confused and bad mood state,I did manage to get out of it but I am kinda afriad it would get back…now I am clear and not in a bad mood but I still feel a little lousy because I didn’t do what I should do,ok,I will do it now and not talk so much…hope you will get passed this soon,either by time or by other means,good luck

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A few days ago you were upset with sis about the cops, and plus you got questioned by cops just for sitting there late at night…was that still bothering you?

Is it a normal thing for you to have angry phases? Some people get that way…idk why.

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I used to have them all the time, but for the past few years, I’ve been a fairly even tempered guy. If I’m not feeling patient and I’m just irritated, I usually go take a walk or a long bath or swim. I usually don’t take it out on my sis.

I can usually calm down enough to not loose my keys, not loose my shoes, not freak out.

Hi J. When I get like this, and I do - angry, irritable, anxious, usually there is an outside trigger that makes me this way.When schizophrenics experience unwanted stress this is usually the result. I know with all that is occurring with your bipolar brother maybe this was a trigger point for you? When the stressful situation subsides or goes away so do the symptoms. During this period of high stress - I would try to take extra care in trying to relax and unwind. Not do more but less. Relax before bed time, try to get extra sleep, watch more relaxing tv and music, eat properly and unwind. My parents will be going on a one week cruise without me, leaving the house with my aunt and me - I am not used to this living arrangement - so I am starting to feel the pressure go on. As the days get closer to when they leave, I am getting more and more anxious - I try to reason my way out of it, but it is hard for us schizophrenics to do this.
I am trying to unwind more and not do too much - this is how I cope with the added stress. I wish you all the best and I know it shall pass

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These things in themselves, often a result of frustration only add to frustration leading to anger. Doesn’t happen very often with me, but used to sometimes if I frank too much. then, drinking too much can be a trigger for anger and if I misplaced something then I’d get really upset yelling. With me, not drinking eliminates almost all anger, and I have to be really really pushed by some external force to get angry at all.

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U are losing the emotional control and behavioral control. It’s more about the central nervous system and your glands then your triggers and environment.

It’s not about a new diagnosis on emotional problems. Still the same issue with my theory.

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If you don’t mind me suggesting, ingest every day

  1. a few pills of good multivitamins
  2. B complex vitamins
  3. vitamin C 3-5 g
  4. Celtic Sea Salt or Pink Himalayan Sea Salts - dissolve 1/2 tsp in water
  5. Magnesium Chloride 600mg to 1000 mg

It really helps me a lot.

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I can only guess however it seems something is going on. Maybe you are taking on too much in your quest to be self-sufficient. Working, cooking, learning about things, girlfriend and the family drama that 2 years ago you would not have been aware of. Have your work hours gone up yet? I’m thinking your quest to do more may be causing you more stress then is needed right now. Your expectations of yourself are being pushed perhaps too far. It’s not doing you or anyone else any good and could do harm if not monitored. I know you have sometimes referenced decreasing your medications. Is it possible that this is being done a little too quickly? Sometimes we have to step back for a minute and go back to basics. Start with counting to ten before reacting. No you are not a zen master however you are capable of taking back some control over your negative emotions. I call these hiccups. You can get through this one. :purple_heart:

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Go easy on yourself. Try using your wise mind not your emotion mind when making decisions.

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James I struggle with being angry. As for the taking meds with food, that is to extend the half-life of the meds, not for tummy aches…Geodon has an 8 hour half life without food. That’s why I eat a high protein and carb meal before I take it, morning and night. It stays in your blood all day and all night when taken with a full meal, carbs protein and fat and at least 400kcal.

But yeah dude, I get pissed easily. I asked my coach about test boosters, he said “you’re 20 you dont need that ■■■■, you come in here and work hard on three tranquilizers, you have enough testosterone” and I talked to a guy with a mental illness in AA who lifts about test boosters and he told me the story about trying to pull the steering wheel off his car and basically said that mentally ill people dont need them! That and I cant remember what my psychiatrist said, but I can imagine it was NO.

Also, most of the guys who have records for their weight class (theres a big chart on the wall of my gym for who holds the highest ranks) are not on anything except creatine, whey protein and carbohydrate powerders, which are all safe for me, but the coach said creatine is overrated and mostly placebo affect.The coach is clean, he has a spartan helmet in his office, he for one isnt on steroids, he actually told me to just be spartan and eat a lot. Im already on whey protein and gatorade, but the people on the team all drink this super-gatorade crap, some super carbohydrate powder mixed with water, so Im gonna join the super-gatorade club. They all have these big clear bottles I imagine they all buy from the supplement shop that sponsors the gym, so im gonna buy one and write “psycho” on mine so they know its mine. They team all knows about my condition and meds. HAHAHA

But yeah, just try to find an outlet. If I go three days without lifting iron, I get horny, angry, restless, and just feel like a demon. I found the right outlet for my anger problems. Maybe you can find an outlet.

There is no option for me- I have always been an angry person and for good reasons, but I wont go on a monologue justifying my behavior. Starting at 10 I began exercising regularly, I had dumbbells and a treadmill and a beginners guide to lifting weights book from the 70’s my dad gave me. I went on to play baseball and had arms and legs by 14, I was the “badass” kid and a heavy hitter. I did fencing after that, was mediocre and quit, then got anorexic and did hours of cardio every day for 9 months. I recovered by lifting again, within 3 months i went form 113 to 150 and no body fat. I then joined a Krav Maga dojo and have a few belts, I was really good but had to quit due to hallucinating during drills when I just turned 19. I then became a total psychotic workout nut and was ripped like hell, then last summer I got on meds, quit drinking and joined this powerlifting gym and started lifting really heavy, got personal training in powerlifting in january by one of the top lifters on the team and just joined the gym’s organized team.

So yeah, outlets bro.

Before you punch a hole in the wall (ive done that twice, pictures cover up the holes)

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I’ve come to find that when you feel as though you’re getting angry at someone for no reason (paranoia and agitation) there usually IS a reason.

My personal take on this situation is that you’re still pissed about your sis calling the cops and its manifesting in this manner. I would take the time to sit down and talk it out.

I could be wrong, but from my own personal experience, this is what I gather.

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