I want to enlighten my mother that this illness really really is stressful and distressing. She doesn’t believe me and just nags. Can you please enlighten her. Thanks.
You could tell her the delusions or hallucinations you’ve been experiencing/experienced. Obviously that could overwhelm her but that’s one thing you could try?
After you’ve convinced yours you can start with mine. As very much in denial that any things wrong with me.
Yeah they are I guess especially for me because I’m not medicated.
For me the mental invasion is so stressful it’s like my mind is being raped.
I’m always on the verge of rage because of that so I keep myself locked away or I might not be able to control myself…
I think that’s the best description I can give.
Yeah tell her it’s like being raped. It really is a lot like being raped.
Do you mind if I ask what she is nagging you about?
@barbiebf…shes nagging, “can you just ignore those damn voices and get out”
She doesn’t seem to undersand the nature of voices.
I don’t think I nag… however I do tell my son to try and ignore the voices and that he needs to do stuff. Anything. He needs to be able to take care of basic things and in order to do that he can’t be interacting with voices while doing them.
I am new to this, my 18 year old came to me with his hallucinations about 3 months ago. I hope your Mom is getting help to educate her on your situation. It is very difficult on both sides. I sometimes find myself getting short tempered with my son because he is so disorganized and lacks common sense, but have to remember it is part of his illness. I am struggling with finding a balance of what are reasonable expectations from him. Sorry you are having troubles with your Mom… it takes patience and understanding on both sides. It is so hard to understand what the other person is going through.
Well, if descriptions of what psychotic thoughts are like don’t convince her,
Maybe a comparison to some other life experiences might convince her.
When I was about 12 years old, I lived through a tornado. It knocked over 50 full grown deciduous trees on our property, many within about 10 feet of where I was cowering at the time. I was right in front of a glass (not plexiglass. Glass) door, that was in the direction that the tornado was coming from. I thought it was going to break and the pieces of the glass were going to blow through me. That didn’t happen. I was uninjured, except that I became a little frightened for a while when the wind blew hard.
I know other people have been through things like that.
But, when I compare that experience to psychosis, I don’t think it was even one tenth as scary.
I don’t see how anyone who understands can expect someone who is going through something as scary as psychosis to just ignore it and go on with life as if it weren’t happening. I know that the relatives of schizophrenics must have a burning desire and hope that this could be possible, but I don’t see how it could be possible.
I think that the hope should be focused on stopping the psychosis, not on somehow magically ignoring it.
While I love your post and do agree with most of it, I have to remind you that a SZ life is not all-psychosis and that in-between relapses you can do your best to get better at living. The aim is to no longer relapse, right? Some people try to tell us that, the fact that we should get our act together and stop complaining about our invalidity , and do our best to fight back instead. Who knows, maybe the tornado avoids us next time? Those people rarely find the best words to say these things, but they are well-intended. While it hurts to be told you are not good enough, especially when you know it’s because of your illness, I find it useful to have people remind me that I can be stronger than the friggin’ tornado. That sometimes makes me angry, because I don’t feel I am. But some other times, when I realize I’ve passed a new month doing useful stuff and not being psychotic, I feel proud of myself, and their harsh encouragement is a good part of it.
So, yeah. Telling someone you love that the debilitating illness they suffer from is not the end of the world might seem harsh. But what if they actually realize it and start fighting for themselves? Was it worth looking like an inconsiderate ahe?
Well, I could certainly be wrong. I’ve been wrong many times before, so I often qualify my statements with phrases like ‘I think’ or ‘it seems’ or ‘I don’t see how.’ You may have noticed that.
Yes I did notice it, I didn’t mean my comment as a way to prove you wrong. On the contrary, I menationed I love your comment and that I just want to add my piece of mind to what you said. Every medal has two sides, and I was just showing the second side of this medal, not proving you wrong in any way.
Psychosis and tornados…that was such a wonderful way of putting it. Sorry I didn’t let on how much I liked your initial post.
Actually, it’s not hard to understand what the other person is going through, by trying to accept the patient’s behaviour, and other hard circumstances, or even try to think how it is to get raped all the time as some members have previously said, are some steps to this enlightment. I can’t imagine there are parents who nag to their children about this illness!! And I am not talking about you, I 'm talking in general!
I totally agree with you. I can’t fight anymore, perhaps that’s for those that were diagnosed recently, I 've lost all my powers against this “tornado”.
I’ve been through this sensation of losing power against the tornado and I tend to agree with you, it seems to happen during the few years after the diagnosis. Hold on there, with more experience comes more power to fight this off and be a well-adjusted, balanced individual. I don’t want to give you fake hope, I am just telling you how it was for me and others I know. It’s probably never done, but you learn to adjust yourself to all of it and enjoy the things you have rather than focus on the things you suffer from. It’s a slow, hard to bear process, but it’s wonderful to wake up one day and be able to say: for all things considered, even if I will continue taking my meds and having some symptoms and maybe worry I might relapse sometimes - all things considered, I might have ducked the tornado for good. Just might.
I still believe that, even if it annoys us and sometimes angers us, people who love us nag us just to make us get up and fight for ourselves. They do understand it’s hard, but they don’t have enough words to tell us both things - that it’s hard and they know it, and that we should be stronger and braver than the tornado is scary and traumatising if we want to save our souls. Knowing someone else who has an early stage SZ, I know I sometimes do that to her, even if I know - how couldn’t I?- how hard it is to be in her shoes.
If she has a kindle reader of something… maybe down load this one for her… it’s $11.00 U.S. on Amazon.
Ask her to read up on it?
@anon33673328 I just wanted to say… that is a very lovely way to explain that. I was trying to find the words for my hit of nostalgia today. I got hit with a very nostalgic mind set today… thank you for that simple kindness shining out.
When I think back on what I perceived as “nagging” and “pestering” from my sis and my parents…
that I now look back on and see as them trying their best to get me to try… and fight… and not to give up… I’m a lot more patient these days I guess.
I guess the nature of “nagging” might also take into consideration how constructive it is?
I don’t exactly have an early diagnosis. It’ s been since 2008. But since I have had this illness since I was 10 and being single for very long, I have lost my powers! Also, in about 2011 I relapsed and thought that there is no stigma, it’s only in our mind, so, now again I have to face stigma all over and it hurts. I was so happy to think that people would accept me, other people are so lucky, that I wish I was everyone else but me or other people with illnesses as severe or more than this is.
Thanks, I will take that into consideration. It’s definitely going to be a long tough road and I’m trying to learn and help my son as much as possible.
That’s the best thing you can do, take care of yourself and your son.