You have come to the right place Omid. I’m sza with ausburgers indicators. The question you must ask yourself is do I want this? How badly do I want this? Because it is going to be an excruciating, slow process. However, there are rewards. I have become far more comfortable with most people (they won’t love you, but you won’t be scared of them any more). I have find a core of friends (I have two+ and people I chat with). I can’t really say if this will work for you, but this is what I have done and it has really made me a lot happier. I still am very isolated, but I enjoy my time alone now.
Before I got on meds (so I don’t know how much this really helps) I faked it. A lot. I faked it an excruciating amount. I faked that I was happy to see someone. I faked that I was happy someone called me ( I still do this one.For me to be comfortable I have to call them, but if they text me first that’s ok. I don’t feel upset, I guess because I can answer whenever I feel like it), I have faked A LOT of smiles (it starts to feel more natural and gets a lot easier). Don’t over do it though. A few minutes of chat with another student, a coworker, or someone you see a lot, works. Just make it clear you are pressed for time before you start so when you leave it won’t be so abrupt.
Online things like this and facebook are good. Once someone feels like they kinda know you they will probably want to add you on facebook. Don’t add them unless you have a reason (you have agreed to work out every other day and I don’t know, you lost your phone or something). Facebook is a good way to send them out reminders without getting too up in their face or being trapped in a planning text cycle. If you give them your number for communication about workouts that might become all they text you over.
Be alone. A lot. If you aren’t alone to recharge your battery you will never make it.
Make a play date once you can go for about 30 min. I have a friend (one of the two, K) who I work out with) We work out for about 30-45 min (and chat a lot while we do it so it probably takes about an hour). A work out buddy is good because you can’t really talk easily while you do situps, you can cancel a couple of times and it’s ok, and you will get exercise. Also you are only supposed to work out about 6 times a week not 7 so you get that time off too. You can also recruit more people to come workout with you. It’s a good conversation starter. You see someone in workout apparel (preferably someone of your own sex). “Hey, I’m sorry, but I noticed that you seem to have been working out. Would you like to come work out with ______ and I? We could always use some extra people.” You need at least one work out buddy for this to work though. People don’t want to just go work out with some random person alone. If you do research on proper workout technique you can approach someone in a gym who seems cool but like a newbie if they have really poor technique “Whoa, one second. You are doing that wrong! You could really hurt yourself that way!” Then proceed with telling them the proper form. If a conversation doesn’t start from there just go on. They will remember you and you can say hi when you see them. It might escalate into something more from there.
Go for buddies first. A girlfriend/boyfriend will come in time. The easiest way is one of your buddies girlfriend’s friends. You will all be hanging out and she will notice how nice you are, your awkward charm, whatever and go for it. There are girls who like shy guys.
If you don’t have a cell phone, get one. I know a girl who has had a couple of guys interested but she didn’t have a cell phone. No one wants to call you and get your Mom. Friends either.
That’s kinda all I got off the top of my head.
Oh, and if you work out you will be more toned and therefore more attractive at first glance. First glance is kinda make or break. If girls don’t like the way you look, good luck getting out of the friendzone. I’ve friendzoned a couple of guys because I didn’t think they looked good. That sounds mean, but do you really want to hug and kiss someone you don’t find attractive every day? Looks are a big part of chemistry. There was no chemistry with them.