Try a CPN (community psychiatric nurse). I see one and hes understanding and has helped me manage my social anxiety.
thatâs amazing iâd really like to see whatâs in that book;
of course i showed up in life with zero social skills.
started working on it in the early college years,
beer drinking with people in the dorms.
At 48 I have no problem manipulating people
into thinking iâm sane for a period of time.
itâs a skill i needed, but now question,
cause really, i know alot of social skills i dont bother using,
like the rich want you to smile when you walk by
so they know you wonât kill them or take their property,
but i donât give it to them.
yeah youâd need social skills to be accepted in their society,
but turns out their society has nothing to offer,
waste of effort learning their social skills.
we need their food and access to shelter,
and you really donât have to be that nice to them to get that.
i practice the opposite of social skills -
went to the dentist yesterday, turned out i needed a root canal.
standing at the dentistâs front desk, filling out my paperwork,
i wrote down sz, cause they asked.
i explained itâs nothing that should interfere with anything dental.
they ask for a next of kin and i got no body,
i added that i practice social isolation, a feature of my illness,
i said i do read the newspaper so i understand your culture,
iâm just not impressed and donât wanna be a part of it,
i said i have odd beliefs, like i donâ;t believe in gravity,
and i donât like the nonsense about human dignity;
she said âyou donât believe in human dignity?â
i said well if you looked at a world full of species,
and one said âi, sir, have human dignityâ
while straightening out itâs necktie,
well, Iâd say thereâs something wrong ad sick about that,
theyâve cut themselves off from the universe and theyâre delusional.
all the other species would be what you;d want to focus on.
so the dentist proceeded to fix my mouth, did a good job,
new tooth up there, no more severe bone pain,
she went on to talk to me for a couple of hours,
i talked about the sun and the moon,
i talked about chinese hermits
she talked about himalayan hermits,
we talked religions, languages, ideas
the oxford english dictionary;
she told me the british called it âhinduâ,
they originally called it the ancient way of life,
or âsa na ta dharmaâ,
also âsa na ta na dharmaââ
iâm going to read the upanishad
and the four vedas that she directed me to;
told her this excited human communication is fine,
but you can also go to the san francisco zoo and commune
with creatures that donât get tied up in lanugage,
excitement, or human dignity, and so it is alot more what i am looking for,
more about calm existence and real knowledge,
the tapir there Goober used to be my main teacher,
now itâs the moon,
they donât teach human dignity or human social skills;
i said around here they say iâm a crazy guy.
she says itâs not so crazy,
sheâs from india and agrees with me about the american culture and their concept of human dignity,
says the others ask her why she is a recluse, doesnât socialize, she says itâs cause it does nothing for me.
so i guess we both stood there practicing the opposite of social skills
onderdonk
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meds might help,
but you shouldnât let them put those plants back in the house;
it may well be vitally important, i made the same decision years ago,
and i do leave the faucets running.
The power of introduction is everything man. There are many ways to introduce yourself. Or else your like this one guy in the gym that never says anything. Next time youâll know that personâs name, which sets up for further socializing. I have always had a problem with topics. After introductions it could be the most obvious thing, like âhey I havenât seen you around in a whileâ. The problem is, we know how NOT to be anti social. However are content not practicing social skills. That can set you back.
I donât remain intact when socializing. I disintegrate more than usual.
I cant even tell whether i have them or not. it depends on the situation
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Lots of info and training videos on Youtube if anyone is interested:
An overview of what social skills are, in terms of psychiatric disorders:
and more at this link:
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=social+skills+training
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âPlayback Disabledâ
Yes - unfortunately. Just click on the link that says âWatch this video on Youtubeâ and it worksâŚ
Iâve observed how other people interact and have tried to copy what I see them doing. I have become proficient at faking a normal sense of humour. Iâm also learning not to laugh at stuff I find funny, but that others would find inappropriate (or even horrifying - âDexterâ is a comedy to me). Of course, all that goes out the window when I get agitated. The trick is to not get agitated.
Trying to fake normal social skills and reactions while having a conversation is rather like juggling five balls while trying to land a jetliner in a strong crosswind.
10-96
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Took a lot of training in mindfulness. My social skills seemed to improve from being able to see, hear and feel things more accurately. I didnât have to be taught to âdo thisâ when someone else âdid that.â I just had to learn how to get out of my own (mindâs) way.
And from that, btw, I have learned that when people disagree with me, I might have have been the complete cause of that, a partial cause, or not the cause at all. But I can replay the tape to get a better look.
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To me,with my need for concrete definitions to work towards, âsocial skillsâ is a frustratingly abstract term . It is one thing to be told you lack " social skills" . It is quite another to be given a clear account of what is meant by âsocial skillsâ and to therefore have something to work towards improving.
Certainly here in the UK it may be stated in your clinical notes that you lack âsocial skillsâ but unless you are aspergic or autistic(dxed as such) then social skills training as part of psychiatric treatment is virtually non existent. It as though someone says "You are social skills deficient. Now live with it ".
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I canât offer you a learned opinion on this, but I have gotten tips from printed social skills instruction that have surprised me - like making cursory eye contact when youâre talking to a female. I realized I was avoiding eye contact in my interactions with women. Things like that can make a big difference.
Iâm a square peg. Society is a round hole. Iâve learned that if I can act enough like a round peg around other round pegs, people are less likely to take a hammer to me and try to make me fit in the hole. The latter being pretty much all of the years I spent in Junior and Senior High School.
Thatâs how I see it.
10-96
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I always think Iâm worse at social skills then I am⌠I always think I say too much or say too little or talk about inappropriate stuff.
Plus, Iâve had some odd problems with boundaries when I was growing up. So Iâve had to learn⌠with help.
Iâm always surprised when I find out that I did ok. I didnât scare anyone or make anyone hate me and it was all Ok.
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Most of the time we judge ourselves much more harshly than anyone else. Its good to keep this in mind and do a reality check with friends to confirm, if you think youâve messed up. And donât be too hard on yourself.
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I want to be socially successful.
Iâm a bright guy, above average intelligence surely, and by paying attention, Iâve learned something about social skills. Great thread! Thanks!
Jayster
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