Just got back from a family birthday party and felt a little self conscious. I get really frustrated by my odd tics, stiff movements, flat affect and general lack of normal body language mannerisms. I know a lot of it has to do with my meds but there doesn’t seem to be much I can do about it since these work pretty well for my paranoia and auditory hallucinations.
I have some family members who I have opened up and told about my illness but a lot of other people I am hesitant to talk with. I also have a fear of meeting up with some of my facebook friends who I haven’t seen in years since I don’t look or move much like the person I was before I first became ill. I almost wonder if taking a beginner’s class in acting would help me loosen up a bit.
I am extremely grateful that my illness is much better. Maybe I shouldn’t try too hard to fit in anymore.