The simplest things in social situations, and I struggle. But my friends understand. (Banging my head against the wall) I maybe can text it, but I can’t in person.
“Normals send other signals in conversational encounters. They use short statements at the beginning and end, “How are you?” or “See you Wednesday,” and longer statements in the middle. They also lower the pitch of their voice to indicate they are finished. Schizophrenics tend not to do this. We seem to have a defect in our cue signaling mechanisms. As a result we often have difficulty in knowing when we should be ending a conversation or how to do it.”
Also this is a big stumbling block. The normmies think this behavior is unacceptable
“Those of us with schizophrenia are very sensitive to having our feelings hurt. Insults, hostile criticism, and other forms of psychological assault would us deeply, and we bear scars from these attacks to a much greater degree than do our normal friends. Because we have this hypersensitivity, naturally enough we try to protect ourselves and prepare ourselves from possible future attacks. By way of this, one of the things we do is replay in our minds situations where we have been hurt, trying to develop strategies of response so that if we find ourselves in similar situations again we will not be so damaged again. What we are doing in our minds is saying to ourselves “What I should have said was…” or “I should have told that guy that I am just as good as he is.” We rehearse or reply situations over and over in our minds, and we often find ourselves speaking in an audible fashion when we are doing this. We have a definite compulsion to engage in this sort of behavior.”
Sorry posting a lot. Like I talk to myself, I text out loud too.
I’m pretty good with conversation but it’s also my achillies heel when I’m doing poorly.
Normal conversation is A talks. B listens and responds. Listening is half the battle and formulating appropriate responses is half the battle if your sz. Things like paranoia really affect your responses but what I’d say is take it slow. You may not be the life of the party but you’ll get there.
So. Listen. Take in what they are saying and respond appropriately. Like 70% or more of the english language is redundant. It doesn’t give meaning but it’s important for socializing. Listen out for those cues in conversation. Give a response and listen to how it goes. It happens so quickly but if you slow it down it’s good for you!
So. Take it slow and think of your responses. It can be awefully complicated but it really isn’t. Listen. Learn. Respond. And. Practice makes perfect. The more you do it if your learning the better you become!
Hey girl. It’s about being comfortable and listening. It really is. Be confident and your mind will adapt. Learn what people like etc. You’ll find that most people like to talk about themselves or their family. You can ask questions about that…for example.
Most peoples favorite thing to talk about is themselves. You can ask about that! It helps you move along in conversation!
I used books to help me talk better, the “how to influence people and make friends” book. I also watched alot of youtube vids on it. The youtube vids are pretty good starting points to learn.
I’m still pretty bad at it, i’m bad at not finding the right questions to ask the person so that they keep talking about themselves. I once heard a girl say “why does he ask so many questions?” while i was walking away. I still have no fool proof “how are you?” question that’ll keep them talking especially if theyre stand offish.
In reality i’d rather just sit in silence and not have to deal with the mundane small talk/get to know. It’s almost like playing a video game to me when i seriously talk to someone.
Though i did find someone that was had the same interests i do and we spent hours talking about sci fi/computer stuff. Wish i didnt move away. Oh well.
I’m pretty goodwith social stuff most of the time. I tend to overshare, though, and begin feeling as if I’m being judged. It’s paranoia that causes that. I’ve been trying to be better at not sharing too much.
I completely forgot the first part of your post when I wrote my last reply.
In reference to what you first stated, yes, I do have trouble talking in person. I am much, much better now that I am medicated, though. Before I was medicated, I could hardly carry a conversation at all. It was bad.
It’s something that a lot of people don’t understand as a symptom even if they know you have schizophrenia and are otherwise very encouraging/helpful. I think as long as they aren’t trying to make you feel bad in front of people it’s ok. However, it’s important to have a sense of humor about it. Yes -work on your social skills, always. But! Remember that no one really holds poor social skills against you in a real intense way (maybe some do, but those people are assholes).