Today at work I had to socialize more than usual because we had an all-day on-campus training. Anyway, a few times I did what I often do, try to make a friendly comment to someone who is near me or I’m passing by… So, more opportunity to get rejected. What gets me even more than someone obviously trying to escape me is just that look of discomfort without any reply… I have to really think whether or not I said something off base. I don’t think I did but people’s reactions to me tell me I must’ve said something weird. At one point during the training I said something that I thought was a valid point but got no feedback. I started wondering if I had left words out or spoken gibberish because people looked like they didn’t get what I said…
It’s 1:15 a.m. and I can’t sleep. I had a bad evening with my husband too…
I’m just really tired of being odd. It would be better if I wasn’t aware of it. It’s exhausting and I just don’t want to try anymore. I don’t want to talk anymore. I never say the right thing. But I’m friendly, so why can’t people just be friendly back to me? But they never are. They just look uncomfortable. It’s hurtful…
hey…hang in there.
It’s always hard socialising as most cues can be hard coming back to you! You just try and move from there. If it happens a million times then yeah. If it’s your first time in the crucible then your being too hard on yourself!
Work is work. You do what you need to get by and I’m sure your doing allright. What you need to concentrate on is what other people are doing. What do they say? Do they get the same treatment? If not why not?
Schizophrenia makes you far more prone to thinking it’s all your problems when it’s often not!
I don’t know why I make people uncomfortable but it’s obvious that I do. I’m a girl so I think it’s more of a drive for me to try and be social. I’ve been trying for a long time and I just wish I’d shut up and stop. But I’m genuinely friendly, but I never know what to say. I must be choosing the wrong thing to say most often and not solving that puzzle brings me down after all these years of trying/giving up and trying again…
I get mad sometimes because people are such jerks. But I know it’s me and that I’ll never understand how to connect appropriately.
Come to estonia. We are all weird here…healthy people too.
Could be that your running into the fact that people don’t know how to interact face to face anymore because they’re just plugged into their phone all day. Don’t blame yourself.
I’m aggressively social and I’ve fell on my own sword too many times to mention.
You learn from your mistakes. If your not getting any joy then adjust your approach.
I’m not talking shite. I’ve done it all my life. Yeah you win some you lose some but as long as your learning!
Keep trying!
Thanks, @rogueone. I’m prone to just dismissing people as absolute jerks, but that’s my defense for being rejected. I’m too old to be feeling this way. I need to just let it go and stop trying in those situations. If I don’t know what to say and the consensus seems to be that I say the wrong things then it’s me and J need to stop being so friendly.
You are a schizophrenic, you should have science of recognizing who is friendly and who is not even before talking to them, trust your wisdom, we with same problem need attention from other people too much and its because we have kind hearts but this urge prevents us to use our wisdom to choose who has the value to start talking to and who has not,
About husband everything will be OK, you know these kind of problem exist but time solves all if two people are real adults,
My prays for you,
Be friendly. Often that is saying hello and just listening. Take it onboard and just probe from there.
Most human interaction is about socially fitting in. It’s not rocket science and it’s anything but. Most folk love to talk about themselves. Listen…ask questions about what they are saying. It really gets people onboard then when your ready you put your two cents in!
I know this isn’t the best forum to describe this but I’m saying keep on trying!
Thanks, @aliali. If I do what you say and decipher who is worth talking to then I would never speak again, I think. Not because I’m better than anyone, but because when I listen to what they say to each other it’s most often not interesting or important…
But I work with a large group of various personalities and everyone is superficially friendly and I’m just trying to join in…
I do that. And I appreciate your advice to keep trying. I’ll still be friendly. But I’ll speak less frequently.
I just feel beat up tonight. Interacting does not come naturally to me. It never has. It’s just that as an older adult I’n Frustrated and sad that it’s almost as difficult as it was when I was young… not quite as though. You’re right, I’m learning and that’s a good thing.
You decide but I’m very fast in filtering trash and worthless people who can not see anything except themselves and their little problems from those who can see the big picture and have the treasure of humanity inside themselves,
Even I regulate my distance from those who have the value on the base of their behavior,
Good luck
I’m sorry to hear that @Hedgehog, you seem like such a nice person. You should take satisfaction in the fact that you have a good heart. Yeah, it’s all too often in schizophrenia that our lives are often one step forward and ten steps back.
Thanks, @77nick77. I understand that other people don’t know the effort I have to put into interacting with them, but just being friendly back to me would take so little effort for them. I feel disappointed in myself for not “getting it” again, and disappointed in other people for not making a fraction of the effort I’ve made.
Plus, I don’t consider myself easily embarrassed but yesterday I had to wonder if I’m really just a fool to other people. I may never know.
Thanks for your kind words. Coming on this forum where people understand is comforting.
Hey it’s ok not everyone is gonna be friendly unfortunately. I struggle with similar problems/thoughts. With people it just takes practice and if you worried about if you’re seeming weird or speaking strange it’s best to just ask if what you said sounded weird cause then you’ll at least know.
i think you are thinking about it too much. just treat it as a weird experience and move on lol, no point in letting little things like that pull you down, stay positive and dont give up, you are doing great 