I wasn’t feel quite right and I went over to my mom’s and my niece is living there with her. I was looking for some understanding or some to confirm I was really MI (As if all the dozens of doctors and hospital haven’t done that) and my niece said some comment about being intelligent makes it easier to manipulate. I thought she was talking about me. So I left and my mom called and wondered why I left. I lost it and said I CAN’T Fu****G TAKE IT and started balling. I pulled myself back together and went back over there. I am sza and started rapid cycling a week ago. Saw my doc and she added some Quetiapine that I’ve been ramping up on in the last few days. I felt terrible - like I was manipulating them but I’ve been through this so many times that I am fairly sure it is my modas-operandi when I have problems. What do you think.
When I’m not feeling quite right I get that too. When people say something that could be considered negative think they are talking about me. I contribute it to feeling Guilt or anxiety in social situations.
I put my hand in my pocket an clench my fist till it almost cramps up. The relief I feel when I unclench usually snaps me out of it.
When the medicine starts working I start to feel like there is NOTHING wrong with me. I got my 100 mg shot of Haldol yesterday and am now ramping up on Seroquel now. I feel like I am a horrible sinner. And that I do not have this Illness.
Dude, you’re just trying to survive through a very rough time. You can’t expect yourself to act perfectly all the time. I hope your family isn’t trying to make you feel guilty for that. That wouldn’t be fair.