So I just spoke

So I just spoke to my brother and he sounded like he was judging me for making poor choices when I was sick and am sick with Schizophrenia. He did mention that he doesn’t quite understand what I’m going through, but he doesn’t get how someone, sick or not, can make such poor choices in life. Regarding making personal choices and where my priorities were. I tried to explain to him that Schizophrenia is a thought disorder and that my thinking is at times not organized or that I’m not as coherent as I would like to be. I was basically pleading with him, that he should have sympathy and mercy upon me because I can’t help that I’m sick. He just can’t understand why I make life harder for myself. It’s not like I try to make life harder, I just have a hard time grasping concepts, understanding, and have cognitive problems. I just hung up with him, but I feel bad that he now thinks I’m stupid and not responsible. :pensive: I mean I can forgive him for having his own opinion of things, but why wouldn’t he educate himself about what I have? What if one day I lose it and need his support or assistance? I haven’t always had insight. I’ve had to rely on others for help. I feel like that’s why the relative forum of sz is so negative over there, is normies think we should act and be a certain way.

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Bump! I really need help with this. I can’t stop ruminating about it.

Totally agree about the family forum.

Even with it good insight, I often make bad decisions that totally make sense to me at the time, but later even I’m over here like WTF WAS I THINKING?!?! I can only imagine what other one are thinking about me. Most people just don’t get it. My family certainly doesn’t and they make no effort to.

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It sounds like you brother can’t wrap his head around the fact that you have a disability. He doesn’t appear to have much empathy either.

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That is so sad. My mom and aunts and everyone, including my brother think I am taking meds, I should be fine now. But I still have breakthrough symptoms. I still become confused and don’t know which was is up. It just made me cry that he would say, not to rain on your parade, but that was a stupid way of thinking.

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No, I thought after so many years of being diagnosed and struggling with this, he’d have understanding of what I have to go through. He did say, I speak better now and don’t ramble on like I used to. I silently cried on the phone so he couldn’t hear me.

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That is so sad. I’m sorry you cried. He didn’t need to be so mean to you. Sometimes the ones we love hurt us the most.

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What’s your brother doing that’s so great?

Is he Jesus or something?

He doesn’t get to sit in a place of judgement.

You’re letting this bother you more than you should.

Why does your brother’s opinion matter so much?

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I mean I know this conversation will pass, but it just happened so it’s like he opened up a healed wound. I can’t even send him literature on Schizophrenia, because he’ll get mad. I just want the feelings of shame to go away.

I’m so sorry you have a brother like that. My family is like that too. They want nothing to do with my illness either.

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It just makes me feel alone. And the worst part is my mom talks to him about me, he told me. And she gets mad when I talk to her about my brother if I have an issue. I thought they were on my side, but I guess I have no one.

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I’m sorry, @Cici2.

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I’m sorry that your family doesn’t understand @Cici2.
There have been times where my family actually made things much worse for me. I stopped trying to talk to them about the illness.
Not much left to say.

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I guess up to this point I’ve just needed support and I figured he was part of my support system, but he’s guarded so he doesn’t have to deal with it if I ever get super sick. My husband told me some people just don’t want the burden like that to deal with. I guess I kind of understand where he’s coming from, but I would be there for my family if they ever needed me. Like I was there for him many times in the past. Yes I’ve been there for him, financially, and emotionally. I guess I’m asking too much of him. IDK. I guess I go to him, because he’s the only sibling I have. I have 2 friends in person, but they don’t even know what to do if I need help. Also, one of their father’s just died so I don’t want to unload on them how I’m feeling.

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