My brother in law came over, over the Easter weekend, and was talking about his roommate…who has paranoid schizophrenia. I felt a little more at ease this day and thought hmm…I suppose I can have this open chat and share about myself. What a mistake.
I said it must be very hard for his room mate living like this. We live in small towns and are not understood or able to connect with people easily. That I have had a rough time trying to live this way also.
To which he just says…well he is actually Schizophrenic. Not the same way as me…that he locks his doors and repeatedly checks windows and is NOT okay.
I tried not to take it personally and said it is called hyper vigilance. I have experienced this for most of my life but with the right treatment plan he can live a mostly functioning life.
No apparently he cannot because he has an actual illness which I don’t have. I went on to say that he smokes way too much weed (7 grams a day apparently) and that cannot help him at all. He said no, his doctor prescribes it because its the ONLY thing that helps…he wont get better. and that is when I just walked away.
So apparently weed is a treatment plan for psychosis and I do not actually have that.
What the actual ■■■■ is wrong with people. You have seen me for twenty mins total in like 7 years and somehow know my life. I just shouldn’t open up to people. Now I have this fear he is just going to tell everyone in our family what I said and they will all sit around having a chat about me.
I just needed to say this somewhere. I am hoping this is a good place today. I know I don’t participate much on the forum anymore. Life has been…busy. I can’t balance it enough to be present online. But I really need you guys today <3
Schizophrenia exists on a spectrum of severity. It’s not a one size fits all thing with regards to that. If your brother in law could have been bothered to educate himself he would have known that.
Don’t let one uninformed person’s opinion invalidate you.
I think it’s hard for people to understand that the only difference between high functioning and low functioning is the proper treatment. People who have never achieved recovery and their loved ones lose hope after a while. Then someone comes along and says, “I used to be like you and I got better.” They tend not to believe them, out of self-defense. Because if the person who got better was really as bad as they are, then they feel like they’re doing something wrong. Like it’s somehow their own fault they haven’t recovered. So instead, they tell themselves the recovered person can’t have ever been really sick like they are, because recovery would be impossible.
His refusal to believe you is not about you, it’s about his roommate.
It’s so ironic that if you can function socially enough to hide your darkest secrets, no one believes you when you tell them the truth.
Don’t let it get to you too much, although I know it’s difficult. People seek equilibrium. It’s safe to know someone unrelated has a serious disorder. It’s an interesting topic of conversation and nothing more. But if someone close, someone related, has a serious mental disorder, then that’s too much to face for some people.
He’s only human. He doesn’t understand. And, thank goodness, he’s not your therapist. You don’t need him to understand.
Thank you for saying this. Treatment and awareness are everything. This forum is filled with all forms of schizophrenia and mental illness. No one person can look at you and say you’re not suffering, because another is suffering more. No one knows your pain or struggles. No one knows the amount of energy and effort you have put in to reach the point you’re at, to feel well.
I shouldn’t have to feel like a fraud because you see me on a day I am well enough to have people in my home, and that some how equals me always being okay. I would like to be honest about myself without feeling defensive. But I suppose that is on me. I need to learn to be stronger than other people’s opinions.
I wouldn’t worry about it. Most people have no idea about what mental illness is like. Being well controlled is only possible after a long long journey to achieve recovery, and setbacks happen.
This person is comparing someone mangled in a car crash with someone who’s now in a wheelchair. Just take out the visibility of the issue as we have an invisible illness.
Its easy for me to forget how sick i was before my dx. I had a knife in arms reach at all times. Anyway, im sure you’ve made significant progress too. And like you pointed out, how can he know anything after barely seeing you for 7 years? Just ignore him.
People can be really ignorant. The scary part is that the same people think they know everything, so they never bother to educate themselves. I would just ignore people like that. I know it’s super hard to do, but do it knowing they’re stuck in their ignorance.
My brother has no clue when it comes to my disorder, but he’s like most normies out there.
It becomes their problem, don’t blame yourself @StripedShirtBoy.
I also had a knife at arms reach at all times, years ago.
Honestly, if someone told me that I don’t act schizophrenic I’d be flattered. Look on the bright side, at least your not blatantly schizophrenic. This means you’re doing well, good job.
If I am home alone or with my kids I have a knife. Especially in the shower. I don’t even consider learning how to be okay with out it, because it will keep me safe so why would I? It brings me some relief in knowing I can protect my family.
Well, it may seem nice, but I think the problem is that it downplays your suffering all while implying that you’re a liar. “You can’t have schizophrenia because you were helped by the treatment for schizophrenia” is the sentiment with some people, and I imagine that can be insulting. Really, it depends on the situation I think. Is the person genuinely happy that you’re doing so well, or are they saying that your illness isn’t real?
My brother-in-law thinks mental illness is BS, so I just never discuss it with him. Apparently he thinks he knows better than all of medical science.
I can’t talk to my mom about my sza without her shutting down, but I am very blessed to have an incredible, supportive husband.
It sounds like your brother is comparing apples and oranges. Each disease course is unique; just because you don’t meet the requirements he has in mind doesn’t mean your sz is any less than his roommate’s.
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