Saw psychiatrist, non event, no plans for changing meds, he dismissed my neurological symptoms and focused on prolactin levels which I really don’t care about, I’m not aiming to get pregnant I have no partner. I’m coming off abilify, which is something. He mentioned going on a medication (for prolactin levels) which increases dopamine, makes psychosis worse so will increase Chlorpromazine which is causing the hormonal imbalance so it makes no sense. No matter the fact I am ill enough as it is, he also claimed my illness isn’t biological so I can’t go on clozaril what the hell does that mean? He contradicted himself about that while mentioning dopamine levels, I have been psychotic seven years…today he made me feel like a teenager, my mum was with me and he basically didn’t acknowledge me and I felt like I was back under child and adolescent services. Im 24! It was God awful and i feel controlled, I’m going to reduce my meds slowly and pove to them i don’t need them meds or their stupid services.
I had so much hope based on this appointment I just wanted answers, he’s useless, I haven’t even been able to talk to him about my symptoms because he never asks, but I know these meds are poisoning me, it’s eating my brain, it’s instinctive I’ve been forcing myself to take my meds but it takes all my willpower. I will reduce slowly and properly but I don’t need their permission and all my symptoms will go.
I just feel so hurt. All this time and I trusted my nurse, Im so stupid it’s been a ploy, I was right all along.