I think Im losing it again guys. I went out to dinner with my dad, sister and her boyfriend last night and I thought this girl at the table across from me was spying on me. Then all of a sudden it became everyone in the restaurant was a watching me, and a group of highschoolers came in and I couldnt help be suspicious of them as well.
My family for sure noticed. I dont want to be back in the hospital again
Im just a paranoid fking wreck and I cant help it, none of the therapy techniques work anymore. I just isolate myself in my basement dungeon and make music, thats my life.
At least I didnt relapse. Good God I wanted a drink
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Don’t drink if you’re having bad symptoms. That could make them worse. Tell your doctor about this. Maybe they can just adjust your medicine a little to help. 
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Well done, I know from experience how hard it can be
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I completely understand how you felt at the restaurant. That’s how I feel every time I leave the house.
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Thanks @Blossom. I know for a fact though that if I drink I will feel better for a little while. But then I wont be able to stop, so I cant do it.
Im gonna ask the pdoc about upping the abilify. At least the voices arent back
@Drug-Slug Thanks. What made it worse was my dad was drinking a beer. If he had gone to the bathroom I would have downed it I know it
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Thanks, it used to be that way for me too. Are the men still following you @LilyoftheValley?
Look where mine is, at least you’re actively producing 
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Did you reduce it recently and if so by how much?
Yeah. And they send others too. I was going to do a class I’ve always wanted to do but don’t want the men watching me do it. It’s a personal thing because it’s religious. It’s none of their business.
Well done on not drinking.
I had a paranoid blip a few days ago. The first in 5 years. Im 99% sure it was caused by too much coffee.
I’m on 15mg abilify.
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@Drug-Slug Wow that looks like it would make an amazing setup though! You should get back into it!
The doc actually upped the meds a couple days ago because I was having symptoms, but they just keep getting worse. I worry Ill be a shut in again soon
@LilyoftheValley Im sorry. You shouldnt have to sacrifice the things you enjoy for them
@everhopeful Thanks. Same here 15mg abilify, soon to be 20mg probably
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It takes about 2 weeks for an increase in abilify to reach a steady state in your system.
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I don’t know what advice I`could possibly give you since I stopped taking my 20mg Abilify three days ago. I probably should have tapered down and whatnot but I just got ■■■■■■■ sick of the side effects
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How long has it been since you’ve had a drink? Congratulations on resisting btw it’s not easy.
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@Drug-Slug All good, yeah the side effects suck but hey, it sure beats zyprexa, at least for me
@Jonnybegood Thanks man. Its only been 3 weeks, when I started IOP
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Well U def got the right attitude it seems. Alcohol was one of my devils and I haven’t drank since oct 27. Iop was always helpful to me. The thing about alcohol for me is I feel I can slip up like once a year and be fine but that’s usually not the case for most. Usually they keep drinking. I think you’re on your way. Thing is I hate alcohol so much now since taking meds I don’t like mixing the two. And the meds take the edge off a bit.
If I had never had sza…I might be drinking right now who knows. I really liked Alcohol but it’s a good thing to sacrifice because it’s like poison 
to me.
Keep it up!!
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Thank you @Jonnybegood. Ill stay strong and keep it up. Its a poison to me too. I used to wake up feeling sick all the time. Its just that when this stuff hits it makes you feel better in the moment
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@zwolfgang
When this happens, try this approach.
I’m okay. I’m not famous, I’m not a celebrity. Why would everyone stop what they’re doing, and watch me? It takes practice, but it’s in my coping skills basket, for some time now.
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This is key good thinking
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Thanks very much. It gives you insight. 
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