To quote my sister -
and for much of our teenage years everything revolved around Tim and his needs
My sister has had a bee in her bonnet about that for years. The reality was that much of that attention was negative, and not something she’d have liked getting herself. What comes through is a lingering resent of my having a severe mental illness. My brother has never voiced such thoughts.
If you have siblings how did they react to you having a severe mental illness?
I have a sister, and she always managed to get all of the attention, even once I started having issues. I could be in the bathroom scraping the skin off my thigh because I wasn’t on the same planet mentally, and the spotlight would still be on her the next day. (True story). Once she became aware of the extent of my mental illness, she no longer let me around my nephews, because she believed I was possessed. She’s come around now that I’m stable, but I was the one resenting her for a long time. Heck, I might still resent her subconsciously.
I received a lot of the attention from my parents and grandmother growing up, because of my mi.
My brother resents this and is bitter over this.
Even years later.
Although I feel as though he should try to be more understanding considering you didn’t choose to be mentally unwell, I know how it feels to feel like you’re the less important child, or like you aren’t getting any of the attention you deserve and need. I’m sorry he holds resentment towards you. Hopefully it will resolve eventually.
I pretty much feel like I didn’t get much support and attention when I was young and developing. Surely somebody saw how much I isolated.
Thanks @redanne.
I got a lot of attention when I was ill but it wasn’t my choosing. My brother resents me for this but he was 24 when I came down with sz and he is healthy so he should be independent anyways.
I will have to ask my brother and sister how it was for them growing up, especially the teenage years. They always seemed very supportive and compassionate. I do know we canceled a family trip to Italy because my parents were paying for my treatment. I still feel guilty about it. Now, my brother and sister are still super supportive, even more so, and so are their spouses!
The comment I quoted was from a letter my sister did for my ASD assessment. It blends facts with a negative picture of how things were regarding my behaviour that is far from factual. What stands out is a chronic,underlying, resentment of me.
Interestingly she is far more supportive of my brother with his mental health problems than she has ever been with mine .
I never thought my brother cared cause we were both adults when i became unwell and he was always doing his own thing at the time but in recent argument with him i was called a disabled c-word and told i drag everyone into my problems he has apologized but i cant help but think he feels this way most the time, it feels like he cant stand me most the time and i honestly dont know what ive done aside frome getting ill and taking the attention away from him.
I got a lot of negative attention and I was hard to be around. My siblings don’t resent me for it now
I feel rather lucky. I don’t feel as though i had disproportionately more attention from my parents as did my siblings. Even when i started to get unwell, my parents shared the love. It was a very balanced and fair upbringing.
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