My twin brother - laughed at me today and said i was attention seeking about my illness. Hes never properly understood my condition anyway. Familys can be so harsh. It makes me laugh - cos the only ambulance chaser in the family is my mother whos constantly “dying” and is the utter depressive in the family. Shes prescribed Amytriptolyine but is not med compleint, and when i call her out on it, she slags me off to my brother.
Im particulary moody at the moment anyway, cos my depot is due in two days time, so i told him a few choice words calling him a damn Mummys Boy and blocked his number.
Im just gonna ignore the lot of them for 6 months - twin brother or not. Im refusing to get caught up in his and my mothers emotional drama. (Sorry had to moan to someone!!)
Im calling my CPN soon as there open. See if i can see them.
Im guilty of thinking the same when i ring the CMHT up. But they have always told me to contact them before things get worse. They are there to support people like us after all. My brother was just being an ignorant arsehole. I would like him to have my head for a month - and then laugh when he duly craps himself hearing voices in bed at 3am.
Some people really suck when it comes to knowing what to say and how it affects people.
Do you ruminate? I got told off a lot for that by my Psychologist last year. I take a single throw away comment and obsess over it until it drives me crazy.
I would try and avoid doing that, but I know how hard it can be.
Yeah all the bloody time. Im trying to get on with my day tho - but im quietly seething under my breath. I obsess over what was said to me too - especially when it comes from family. Im gonna buy a ruddy great chocolate Gateau today - and pig my face out to feel better.
I just wish i had a bit more support from the family. And it annoys me that my mother gets away with her antics, and everyone jumps to her defence. Just last week she had a damn ambulance out 3 TIMES in one day. And im the one attention-seeking!??
I get far more support on these forums, than ive ever had from the family. Its noted on my records she is emotionally abusive to me anyway, so im not bothering with them now. It just stresses me out and Fcks up my day.
My brother and sister have never directly said I am attention seeking. My sister though has said on several occasions ,including the letter she did for my autism assessment, that when I got ill everything revolved around me and my behaviour. My brother has never made such remarks.
What my sister fails to grasp is the attention I got wasn’t very positive or encouraging. Let’s just say my parents were as intellectually aware of severe mental illness as a lay person could be in the mid 70s,but on an emotional level weren’t that supportive.
No mine hasnt been positive either. Unless the attention comes from the on call nurse. Its the one thing that garuntees to put me in a bad mood to say im seeking attention. That - and those people that wrongly assume im thick and mentally deficent just cos i got Sz.
If i do moan about my MH - its because im feeling vulnerable and looking for genuine support. Im not looking for sympathy, just a bit of understanding and empathy and that actually, yes im suffering.
Which is totally unlike my mother, who will use it to manipulate people to her advantage.
In the context of mental illness, seeking attention is a very good thing. We can’t deal with everything ourselves. We need support from outside sources. That’s the nature of being sick. Therapy, CMHT calls, pdoc visits, these are all types of attention, but they’re also the necessary treatment for our illness.
Even outside the context of mental illness, all humans need attention. We are social creatures, and pretending to be overly self-sufficient really harms the human brain. Human interaction is a human need, right up there with food, water, and shelter.
Knowing when to ask for help and then accepting the help offered is a sign of strength. You’re stronger when you rely on your social supports. You’ve been trying to give up drinking, and that’s not something most people manage without a strong social safety net. I personally love when people ask for help or attention, because they are relying on useful coping methods to get them through hard times, rather than self-destructing.
I wouldnt even bother entertaining the idea. Cos the answer would be no - and shes so caught up in her own self-pity that the conversation would only be about her anyway. I get shes depressed, but take the damn drugs shes been prescribed so she can feel better - and stop milking it at the expense of my mental health well being. Im not even sure such services exist in my area anyway.
@Ninjastar I remember asking for more help and support in 2002. I was told I didn’t qualify. The psychiatric notes for that period,which I saw years later, included a bit saying I was a ‘Very dependent narcissist’.
Thank you! Your the only lot on here apart from the CMHT that understands me! I dont ask for help to manipulate. I ask for help cos i wanna change and get better. My family are putting there own messed up values on me - which is simply wrong.
My brothers like a lap dog whenever my mothers concerned - and he eats up all her manipulative crap. But i dont stand for it - and there in is where the conflict lies.
@Ninjastar Things for me didn’t actually change much till I moved here in September 2017. All that happened as a result of the abusive and rude behaviour from mental health services at my last place was I stopped asking for help and support and didn’t challenge anything. I then became a more acceptable patient in their eyes.
My stock reply when asked how I was was ‘So so’ or ‘Not too bad’ I didn’t go into details. You could say I was mentally shell shocked and just didn’t want to be hit with any more nastiness if I was more open.
Ive just got Social Services funding for respite care at a clinic . 2 weeks in Eastbourne along the coast. Private Hospital . Yay. Im off . Think the powers that be - finally realised i needed a rest. At least i will get hospital grade doses of drugs - so i intend to have a damn good kip for 2 weeks.
Ill take my tablet with me - so i can check up on you all! lol
