One of my friend which I meet in the meetup,he brought his girlfriend(I think so) during our most recent meetup at a club.At first I was comfortable being with them,but I feel a little bit strange after that.
About the strange feeling,its like that I think had a little good feeling towards his girlfriend porbably because the connectness of mental illness and she is a psychology student.They both are my good friends,both of them are very suitable to each other(age,education and the girl likes him) but i don’t know the boundaries between friends and two person relationship i feel so awkward(different kind) that i cannot talk to the girl because i feel kinda restriction and worry a lot it makes the whole thing even worst that i think both of them can sense…
what i want to do is go out with more people(different groups) to understand my strange perception.I feel i need a girlfriend or make more friends with girl to be sure who is suitable to me and hopefully be more normal around people,friends
Can’t help you, but I get the same feelings when around couples or such.
its okay,hope i come to a solution to this and conclution
yeah… the worst is when friends with girlfriends bitch about them when you’re all alone, and secretly in love with every girl you meet, lol
Lol,I like to think because I don’t have experience socially with friends.So I need to go more places and put in a little different perception.Restriction is what kills me,I don’t know what i can or cannot do
You only have to worry when people become engaged or marry.
Yes it is normal to feel strange around couples, unless you are two couples going out together.
I think its called being the ‘third wheel’
If you are going to respect their friendship, no worries!
Just wait for them to break up, before you show any interest.
Then, you may lose a male friend, but gain a fickle girlfriend.
But expecting this to happen may lead to heartache.
I would just look for women that are NOT friends of your friend.
Well if you like the girl on such a short acquaintance you should find out if she really is your friends girlfriend first. The thing to do is ask him straight up, she may just be a platonic friend.
But I know the third wheel feeling as well, have encountered it more than a few times. It’s often better to hang out with groups of other singles, you tend to meet more single girls that way. Or mixed company. Holiday parties can be great.
Yes,i will defitnately be respecting their relationship and hope all goes well for them.Besides now I just want to make some friends and socialize,not so much about girlfriend.Having a GF would be good though but it’s not a necessity
You might be like me in some ways I always like the girls I can’t get. Or also, I have liked my friends girlfriends before. The reason why I think that happens is because it’s a girl that is usually friendly to me because I’m the friend. Most girls don’t give me the time of day and I can’t even get near most girls. But my friends girlfriends or my sisters friends almost have to be friendly to me.
I’m like a puppy dog. If any girl shows me any attention I perk up and lap it up and think there’s something between us. Maybe none of this applies to you, Gtx1990.
I want to sleep with all of my sisters friends, lol. Unfortunately, I have to talk to them first.
Its perfectly normal to feel jealous if your friend has a desirable girlfriend/boyfriend. Just recognize it as normal but antiquated human behavioral biology and treat them like other friends…wait that was confusing.
Thats some ■■■■ in our heads from our ape ancestry. Dont pay attention to it, it will get you no where. Now if said lady wants to cheat on her boyfriend with you and expresses interest rather blatantly, do as I say and not as I have done and kindly reject the notion.
Its like how I have a bunch of ■■■■ wrong with me but function socially- I know what the roots of my pathological thoughts are and contain the harmful ones. Eccentric ones can just fly free as a bird, I wear mismatched designer socks on purpose and thats just how I like to dress, in shorts and with mismatched designer socks. And I wear all black almost every ■■■■■■■ day. Doesnt do anyone any harm, makes me feel better.
Now wanting to brutally murder a drunk slurring his words at me at a party is not okay. I dont do that ■■■■. Wanting to fight people who simply look at me the wrong way and kill them is not okay. Wanting to have sex with people is okay, just dont be pushy, thats rude and not okay. If you’re christian, sorry, cant have sex or masturbate. Ugh that would suck. I dont see how they do that…blows my mind. I would be angry as hell if I didnt do either one for like a month. I had epididymitis when I was 18. It was so bad that I couldnt even jerk off or even lift weights or move at all for that matter, so I sat around and smoked pot. I lost 40lbs…and I was buff before it, not fat. It made me in a wonderfully evil and psychotic mood. (I was both psychotic and borderline evil). I wrote a journal in red ink about hate, all I wrote about was psychosis (I didnt even know I was psychotic) and hate and pain, some may have called it evil.
So if youre like me, be aware of “tendencies” and do that opposite of the bad tendencies…for example, if you feel jealous and dont want to talk this guy and his lady friend because well duh you think shes attractive and wish she was your lady friend, then force yourself to be nice and have a civil exchange of words. Thats what I do in situations like that. Same goes for girls who are “taken”- just be polite and dont be afraid of them, be afraid of yourself (wait that only applies to me) nevermind
socializing takes practice just dont give up, learn from mistakes.
I’ve gotten a ton of useful information and clarification from reading several books on co-dependence as well as attending Co-Dependence Anonymous meetings. See http://www.socalcoda.org/patterns.php.
Actually my best friend has been in a few serious relationships that I’ve met the guys on and frankly I didn’t like either one of them. I lied and told her they were fine, but with both of them first instincts told me they were a##holes…and low and behold that’s what they turned out to be. However I don’t want to make my one and only close friend hate me so I just sit and let her run her own life and figure things out then lend her a shoulder to cry on when she gets hurt in the end. True friends would probably step up and save their friend before that happened, but honestly I hadn’t spent quality time with either of serious boyfriends in order to explain to her why I didn’t like them. Yes I’m entitled to my opinion but if I can’t explain why I have that opinion I usually keep it to myself because it causes fights I don’t want to have.
I did get that third wheel feeling when I was with her and her boyfriend. It was awkward, but she’s been my best-friend since elementary school, she’s been with me at some of my worst moments, and I don’t want to lose her. So I keep my real negative opinions to myself…besides I don’t trust anyone so I’m usually not sure if I don’t like the guy because I don’t trust anyone or if I honestly don’t like him as an individual