That stranger thing is hard to shake. Difficult to know how much is paranoia and how much social anxiety. Youngest step daughter is coming down to see me which is fine but she has asked whether a friend who is driving her, as her car is out of commission, can stay for the night too. I have said yes but truth be told I’m defecating bricks about it. I am worrying myself what her friend will think of me and my place and the whole making conversation with a stranger thing. My default mode is to expect people to think the worst of me and to expect to do something that legitimises that opinion.
This is a hard one to get over. I think if I had more self confidence/esteem I wouldn’t be worrying so much about what someone might think of me who I may never(in all likelihood) meet again.
Most of my sisters friends see how my sisters treat me and it makes them treat me nice too. I posted last week about being at my sisters house with a friend of my brother-in-law there. I could never have a friend like that in a million years. The guy had played professional rugby in Australia, traveled all over, worked in a coal mine, had tons of girlfriends, and he was better looking than me.
In most settings I couldn’t hang out with someone like him for obvious reasons. But my sisters treat me with respect and thus that guy took his cue and treated me like a respected member of the family and we all had a nice dinner and a nice conversation. I talked just enough to get by and satisfy myself. I hope you get my point.
I get your point, It’s hard not to expect the worst though.
It is hard not to think the worst… but no one is going to come in to your home as a friend of your family and be insulting.
I’m sure the friend will be nice… I’m glad your getting a visit.
I hope you can find a way to relax and enjoy the visit.
Common sense tells me you’re right. I think part of the problem is that, defensive boasting aside, I have a fairly poor opinion of myself and almost automatically expect others to do so too.
The visit is off. Her friend is poorly.