I agree that no one can tell you what your sexuality is. Everyone falls somewhere on the Kinsey scale. That is a “sexuality” scale that says you can be straight, bi, or gay or anywhere “in between”. Its the “in between” that’s important. You might be neither gay nor straight but fall somewhere in the middle.
My next suggestion is to work with a therapist and not a case worker to find out the answers to your questions. They may be able to help put your thoughts into perspective.
I agree with Seth’s sentiment. If you wanna ■■■■ men exclusively, then yes you are gay. And thats the end. Close the book - move on.
But it is also possible that you are using it as way to explain your own confusion within your mental health. Similar things have happened to me before. Where I felt like “maybe all this mental turmoil has to do my with my sexuality”. “Maybe the world doesn’t understand me because deep down I’m a closeted homosexual” even though I’ve never been sexually attracted to males. For me it was a way to trick myself into thinking MH isnt the big problem.
If you’re genuinely curious - explore it. It might make you happier if it turns out to be true. But it is also possible that it is a form of denial or a coping strategy to avoid the reality of your mental health issues.
If someone thought their thoughts about maybe being gay drove them to psychosis then I’d say that’s a pretty clear sign of some deep anxieties and possibly homophobia. And also that it’s not possible. People can live through extremely traumatic stuff without any signs of developing psychosis. Possibly being gay or hating yourself for that is not something that can cause psychosis and I’ve never in my life heard of that happening.
This forum has the tendancy to over anaylse stuff - especially when it comes to sexuality - Just because you have an MI, that is not always the reason for having gay feelings.
Some might be suppressed, whilst they are dealing with getting the mind well.
People need to embrace their sexuality and enjoy it - without feeling guilty and blaming a mental illness on it. Its the stigma in society that causes the distress - not the fact of being gay trans whatever.
I had some traumatic events that probably contributed to my psychosis but not the root cause.
I think if someone was brought up that it wasn’t right to be gay and then realizing you are gay would be pretty stressful. Probably one piece of a puzzle if that’s the case