Schizophrenia.com

Should a schizophrenic Woman Have a Baby?


#1

Should a schizophrenic woman have a child?
Im 40, 8 yrs out of hospital, non smoker, non addict, happily married, togethqer 7 years
Is it just a bad idea all round
Ive been exrermely unwell in the past and long term and my sister screams at me if i suggest having a baby she says how could you expect mum to take care of it and youd be in hospital?..s
What is the truth?
My new friend who has only seen me stable thinks id love it
Im so broody
My husband is asexual has climaxed only in his sleep in his life
Our sex went on for 4 yrs but weve stopped
We are both mildly autistic


Parenthood and Medication
#2

well 40 is like “the last year” it’s possible which is probably why you are considering it? I can’t help you decide. It sounds like you guys would have a hard time with kids?


#3

Nobody can make that decision for you.

Your child might end up schizophrenic / autistic. Can you afford to take care of a child with disabilities? Can you emotionally handle the responsibility of children? Would children brighten your life?


#4

There’s the guilt that lingers knowing you can pass the suffering to your offspring.


#5

Maybe if you have one just have one. I have one boy. I had him before I had schizophrenia. I may also have asperger’s syndrome but do not have a diagnosis of it. My son has autism and now has the
possibility of ending up with schizophrenia on top of it. He is a great kid, couldn’t ask for better, and is the best thing in my life. I don’t regret it. I am a single parent, and do not work. I have gotten funding for many things for my son such as horse therapy, behavioral therapy, music therapy, swimming lessons. It is possible to get help depending on where you live if you do have one with autism. Definitely look into the resources available in your area just in case.


#6

Think about sleeples nights in the beginning. Can you handle that for a year without
relapsing?

I have two kids one does not live at home. Social services placed him in a school about 60 km from home when I got ill. He has autism. My other son lives at home. And my husband. But I have a very hard time keeping rules and being firm in my dicicions.


#7

they may still end up this way even if you didn’t have the disorder. If you want a child, that is no one else’s business but yours and your husband. Hum, I know it’s not the exact same thing as having a kid, but pets can fill a empty void in your life and hold about the same responsibility as a child would. True you’ll never really understand that meow, or bark, or whatever noise your individual pet may have, but with pets like my kitty most of the time I can guess what she’s fussing about by her facial and situations happening, but you raise them like you would a child…

You have to feed them once or twice a day (my kitty only eats one can of fishies a day, and we keep her dry food bowl full so she can have a snack whenever she gets hungry, and constantly making sure she has fresh water). Likewise, you train them to a potty routine like using the litter box, or only going outside, you can train them to respond to your commands, they snuggle with you, they play with you…if you don’t think you could hand a child, maybe consider raising a pet. But if you really want a child then have one, don’t hold back simply because your sister doesn’t agree with it, it’s your life. It’s your family. It’s your choice.


#8

this is just my opinion ;
mrs sith could not have children, but we had decided because of my illness not to have children anyway.
but to watch a child have sz or ocd or depresssion or any mental illness and know that i ( my gene pool ) was responsible for that !!
the guilt alone would crush me.
i see people with illnesses be they mental or otherwise and have kids regardless because of some primal urge…i think it is selfish in the extreme…no offence.
adopt… yes.
but have your own, when there is a high percentage that your child will suffer…that is a horrible fate.
take care :alien:


#9

I have a 22 year old daughter who no longer speaks to me mostly because of my illness. I did great the first *7 to 10 years of her life and then I was inot and out of the hospital,trying this med and that med, working part time cleaning houses but I was under sone much stress,I was not being the mother that she nèeded. How can I do my best at being a mom when voices are driving me crazy and depression kept me in bed at every chance I had. Things had gotten so bad I stopped working, stopped cooking and cleaning my own house anow could barely get her to school and home lIke a good mother does. Finally, when she was around 14 years old, her dad asked me to move out. Since then we have barely spoken and it breaks my heart thinking of the daughter I lost to this illness. I guess it also depends on other things too though, like how supportive your husband is, how much help you have from family and what other kinds of support systems you have in place.


#10

I have a child and had her before I knew I was schizoaffective. I decided that I wouldn’t have anymore because of my illness. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through anything I go through with this illness. I fear for my daughter everyday, I always think about what if she is. She’s 14 and so far she’s fine but I started showing signs at about 20 so I’m always monitoring her.


#11

I regret my illness but I can’t say I would have rather never existed.


#12

Everybody is different. If you have a kid you will have to take care of him/her for the next 18 years. 18 years is a long time. You know there’s an increased risk of the child having schizophrenia because you have it, if you had a kid you would be gambling that the child will not have schizophrenia. Having a kid is a lot of responsibility, a child needs his parent to be there for him in tough times. A YOUNG child would be dependent on you, his/her life would literally be in your hands. And there’s no guarantee that you wouldn’t relapse. I got out of the hospital in 1983. After a couple years I figured I would never be hospitalized again. I relapsed in 1988. But in my case hard drugs played a part in it. I really don’t know if I would have relapsed if I hadn’t been doing drugs. I am sorry if this sounds too negative but raising a kid is not all sunshine and rainbows. The latest statistic I saw was that raising a baby from birth to 18 years old cost something like a $100,000 over that span. And that doesn’t include yourselves. (You can easily look this statistic up). Sure babies are nice and it would be rewarding in many ways, I will acknowledge that. And they will love you to a point. But boy, when they hit those teenage years and you’re 55 years old, I would not envy you! I don’t know what you will decide but congratulations for avoiding drugs and alcohol! Good luck. I’m sure you will take our advice with a grain of salt.


#13

i had a second thought…we have a staffy x dog they are like children, great companions, loyal, and bring alot of joy…maybe get a dog first and see how you go.
take care :alien:


#14

There are two members in particular on here who have kids and I think they are amazing parents.

I enjoy the intellect of kids, I value kids and I feel very lucky to be able to spend time with my nieces and nephews. I do foresee kids in my life… I’m picturing adoption. But I have no idea what life will bring me.

I have a feeling it’s very personal answer with many different reasons for pro or con


#16

If you have a child with Down’s Syndrome you’re going to be taking care of it for longer than 18 years. You had also better produce some siblings who can take care of it after you pass on. It’s not just SZ out there lurking.

10-96


#17

I was married for 7 years or so and had chances to have kids- but never did, thankfully.
My ex wife was not a good person, it ended in a bitter divorce.
I kind of like have a son, he is my beautiful mixed breed dog. He is a lot of responsibility but I manage to give him a healthy and happy life.
@sohare1981 is right, pets are like having kids in many ways. But even with pets you have to make sure that you are capable of taking care of them, they too are not cheap - lots of financial responsibility as well. Good luck to you on whatever you decide


#18

Do it. You’re not alone, you’ve got your husband to help. The chances are greater for you to pass sz on than someone without, but it’s not a guarantee. I hate to say this but time is running out, Don’t regret passing up something like this for the rest of your life.


#19

@clouddog, just remember a baby is a big responsibility. The babay must come first at all times. If you think you can handle that, then theres no reason why not.


#20

I have 2 little ones, 4 and 7 months. For me, they are my lifesavers. I wouldn’t be alive without them. Caring for them can be difficult, but, at the same time, they are a motivating factor. I am very glad for my children and I take very good care of them. I also have a VERY supportive husband who isn’t afraid to remind me that I have to make my oldest listen to me and behave, and she does! She is amazing! She is incredibly intelligent. I don’t worry about her having my illness because ANYTHING could happen to her. She could be autistic, she could have heart issues, she could have anything. God (for me) decides ours and our children’s fates.


#21

It sounds like you aren’t always stable.