My counselor and my parents want me to separate from my husband because he is “verbally abusive”. They care about him and want to see him change. But if he doesn’t, they are worried about his “controlling” behaviors and their affect on me. He makes me feel like an idiot. The problem is I rely on him. He helps a lot around the house and with the kids. They say if he is gone, I will feel better and more free to step up. But what if I don’t? What if I get worse? He is my best friend. But now there is tension between him and everyone else. He didn’t let our kids go with their grandparents the other day. It was stressful.
I’m sorry @FlyingPurplePeopleMeeter.
How is he verbally abusive?
My father can be verbally abusive towards me.
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He yells at me and swears at me everyday.
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I’m sorry your father is that way.
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Oh I’m so sorry @FlyingPurplePeopleMeeter.
You don’t deserve this.
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That’ s not healthy. Abusers often make their targets feel stupid and like they can’t do anything without them. You aren’t doing either of you favors by staying. Do you want your kids to think that is ok?
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I definitely want the kids to know better and to have better. I’m just not strong enough to leave.
I could not be with a person that did that, i would be gone in a New York minute, there is no excuse for it
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I thought I wasn’t, but did it anyway. Keep putting it off and you’ll be mired in worse. By staying you are saying it is ok to abuse you.
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Thank you @Wave @Mountainman and @anon4362788
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Sorry you are going thru this @FlyingPurplePeopleMeeter.
Staying is a bad idea u will feel more n more ■■■■ by the day.
Not good for ur health
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Thank you @anon90843118
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My ex wife was abusive towards me.
I nearly died.
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@Wave
With her words?
You can do it. It isn’t fun, but I remember the day over a year after leaving when it hit me…I WAS paying my bills, tking care pf things pn my own…my ex always said I couldn’t do anything or get anyo e better than him. Proved him wrong on all counts. You can, too.
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I’m so proud of you! @anon4362788 But I have no money! My treatment team tells me I can’t work, and I’m not yet approved for disability!
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She was verbally abusive and physically abusive.
She constantly lied and cheated on me.
She was also a thief and emptied out my bank account.
Oh @Wave! That’s so terrible! I’m sorry that happened to you!
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It’s ok I learned my lesson, thanks @FlyingPurplePeopleMeeter.
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My stepdad sounds nice and friendly, and he can be, but he screamed point blank in my face whenever he was mad at me when I was six or seven years old. I’m the only one of three that’s not his kid and growing up it was obvious. He doesn’t ■■■■ with me anymore but he still makes me feel like ■■■■ by guilting me anytime I disagree with him. I’m forced to be friends with him because we’re always around each other but honestly I’m just waiting for the opportunity to move and I will gladly leave him behind.
Maybe your situation is similar. We’ve all thought at one point he’s a nice guy, but then he sends death threats in an email and you just feel like giving up again. He wants everything in the world to be a certain way, with him at the top. If you live with him you are forced to either become a sycophant or be abused emotionally.