Self-destructive behaviour

Health and Recovery
1

This study says it’s about disrupted parental care, childhood trauma.

I’m trying to cut ties with my self-destructive behaviour. It almost succeeded in destroying my life in the past, and I can’t blame it all on the sza. I feel it’s my responsibility to stop those behaviours, and it takes a lot of my time to do so, occupies my mind a lot… So friday night I almost trew my sobriety out of the window, but didn’t. Was able to stop it in time. I’ve been feeling guilty ever since and it was a step towards self-destruction again…

But that got me thinking that I’m still a long way from where I want to be.
Some alone time will do me some good. I’m on christmas break and will enjoy spending some quality time with my mom.

Some of the things I’ve been doing to get rid of my self-destructive behaviours:

  • Self-compassion, takes me a long way in loving myself enough to not want to harm myself.
  • Letting go of shame and guilt, those are some serious destructive feelings if we’re not careful.
  • Sobriety, the most important one that I almost ruined.
  • Exercising and meditating.
  • Schedulled studying, I tend to think I don’t have what it takes to succeed in life so I self-sabotage a lot.
  • Being open about my feelings, so I don’t bottle up and explode afterwards
  • Not being so hard on myself to be perfect, we all have flaws.

I’m also starting therapy soon, I’ve been calling the doctor but he hasn’t picked up the phone yet.

7 Likes
2
3 Likes
3

I didn’t read the complete article but just the summary you wrote. My father had an explosive temper and would flip tables and throw things whenever he got mad. So some of my self destructive behavior could stem from these experiences according to the article?

4

It says: “Childhood trauma contributes to the initiation of self-destructive behavior, but lack of secure attachments helps maintain it. Patients who repetitively attempt suicide or engage in chronic self-cutting are prone to react to current stresses as a return of childhood trauma, neglect, and abandonment. Experiences related to interpersonal safety, anger, and emotional needs may precipitate dissociative episodes and self-destructive behavior.”

1 Like
5

What is meant by lack of secure attachments? Lack of healthy relationships with other people?

6

That’s my interpretation of it yes

1 Like
7

That makes sense. It seems like I often gravitate towards other unstable, self destructive people. I don’t know why to be honest. In my mind, I’m not seeking these people out, but for some reason that’s who I end up friends with.

8

my ex was alcoholic and used to punch walls… i feel more comfortable with him than with any other people…

1 Like
9

Same thing here. I tend to make friends with the unstable and self destructive too. Heck, all I can see around me is unstable and self destructive. I feel really alone in the world.

1 Like
10

I think the root cause of being attracted to these people might be self esteem issues.

Also I think “normal people” tend to be much more judgmental, but perhaps I’m wrong about that.

Or more likely, they have a full life and don’t have time to deal with people like me.

11

Oh minnii…I have to take time to read this article.
I still oddly enjoy my self destructiveness… I feel like I deserve it.
Then there is that self-victimization issues that many of us have… The eternal sunshine of helplessness and hopelessness…there was a thread about it by you-know-who :))

But yeah, I feel it is sucking the life out of me.

Intense relationship, my own issues, financial stuff, kid… Its like everywhere around is fire and I’m sitting with popcorns.

12

i think self destructive behavior is directly linked with poor self-esteem…
me too used to have lack of secure attachment during childhood…
those wounds still hurts me bad… :boy:

13

I cannot shake this feeling.

I made huge progress on this matter this last year and still, I feel like I don’t deserve my accomplishments.

I need therapy for it, I know.

Self-destructive behavior takes up so many forms and shapes, once we get used to it it’s so hard to change. It makes me want to quit.

A teacher of mine told me that on the moment we are ready to quit is usually right before the breakthrough happens.

14

Yep. Same here. Parents issues are the hardest ones to overcome.

1 Like
15

we learn about life from :books:
our parents :man: :woman:
the schools we go to :school:
from the teachers of those schools
from the society you are born into
eventually ’ yes ’ you can brake away from those teachings which do not ’ fit ’ you.
but when trauma is experienced by a child it can be hard to dig out the last ’ splinter ’ from your subconcious… " ouch ! " :flushed:
take care :alien:

2 Likes
16

Lifts up shirt shows of gang tattoos One of the few things form my Self destructive times i feel shame about.
But then i deserve it so all fair in love and war.

1 Like
17

What dou you think you deserve?

18

Here’s a link to a website with a list of famous self injurers.

https://self-injury.net/media/famous-self-injurers/

19

Me? I think i deserved everything i got, all of it at best is better is me than some poor other person that could not of made it thought as worse i deserve it. simple i stopped questioning it and just know i do just like when ever i hear a cop or fire go past is muiltable times a day i go right back to thinking i deserve to going back inside with out doing a thing. just is

Like two days ago i used a knife to cut open the bag of oranges with out a single thought to cutting or wounding myself is was a shock to be able to use a knife with out those ideas/thoughts is a huge step for me! first time i been able to do in over two and half years to be able to pick up a knife and just use it with out bad thoughts ideas or a temptation with that still have the “I deserve to be cut wounded etc” thoughts just is

2 Likes
20

You dont deserve any of the bad things that happened to you. None of us deserve it. A big hug to you nastya. Im glad you had that breakthrough

3 Likes