Seeking counsel, was told I have paranoid schizophrenia 2003, hospitalized 7 times, last one in 2003. Was on disability 1995 to 2015. Started working and disability was stopped, work two jobs, 13 hour days to make ends meet, we moved and cost of living is high here, don’t have a counselor and have used one med sparingly to help sleep or not at all to save it, running out, can’t afford to see a doctor, been having difficulties lately, I don’t understand why this is happening it’s been so long, been reading a lot on here and trying to do research, afraid, don’t want to lose all the progress but having troubles…
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hi
i thought i was sliding backwards before christmas…it was an uncomfortable feeling.
but i didn’t…i get ’ glitches '…the more you understand your ’ triggers '…the quicker you can improve.
getting better is full of set backs sometimes.
take a deep breath… 
this is a safe and supportive place. 
take care 
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Yeah, it sucks. You are not unique. Many people including myself can have months or years of stability with schizophrenia but the symptoms can rear their ugly head and come back even if we are taking our medication religiously. I’m sorry, but it happens.
Sometimes with schizophrenia you can be on a medication for years and it will just stop working. I was hospitalized in 1982. I got out and got a job and went to school and got a car and I was living semi-independently and I figured I would never be hospitalized again. Oh yeah, I took my medication daily. But in 1988 I relapsed and I had to be hospitalized several times again. It took me a year or two to get back on track. I started again.
I got another job, went back to school and started socializing a lot. Eventually I got another car, I rented a room in someones house, made a friend. I stayed out of the hospital for 25 years until I had to be hospitalized just three months ago due to the stress of my mom passing away.
In the space of two weeks, I lost my mom, my housing, I had to quit college, and I had to take two months off of work. and I was hospitalized. This shows what schizophrenia is like and how it can work in some cases. I hope I’m not making you worry but relapse is possible in most people with schizophrenia. You shouldn’t spend your time worrying about it but it’s unpredictable.
There’s preventive measures you can take to lower your risk of a relapse, you can find out what these are by doing a web search. I’m doing semi-OK again and I’m back at work. I am living semi-independently and I got a nice car. They call me the comeback kid. Well, to be honest, I’m the only one who calls me that, lol, but it has a certain ring to it doesn’t it? I wish you good luck and I hope things get better for you. Good luck.
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Thank you for the encouragement, it is almost a relief just to be in touch even if on this device, have considered cutting myself just to release pressure but it’s been so long, thank you for the response
i haven’t been sick as long as 77nick77, but he did come up with a few good points. I’ve only been sick for about 6 years but I know how hard it is to get stability. i hope you can keep yourself out of the hospital but if you feel you must go in don’t fight it. Inpatients units are meant to help people not imprison them as a lot of people believe. i hope you don’t cut yourself.
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I hope to avoid the hospital, we would have to file bankruptcy, I have always felt humiliated and less than human in a hospital. This site is a blessing, thank you all. I am seeking a counselor where I live but feels like it’s taking too long, creating art is my therapy, i think my job is the trigger as darksith mentioned, I work nights there…am isolated, feel like I am in the movie the shining every nite, then I go to my morning job having trouble with the switch of masks, everything is taking so long, concentration is hard to obtain, my wife didn’t want me to get off disability but I felt ashamed to be on it, and worthless, even making art never supported us
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i understand, i’m on ssi. The only reason why i haven’t applied for a job is my anxiety. Third shift is rough, i worked third shift for several months before i had my first break. i worry about my partner working third shift in a nursing home, she gets stressed so quickly but she’s not sick. i hope you find a counselor.
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I was in a bad car accident when I was sixteen, and, this winter, I’m having flashbacks and feel like the car I usually love is a monster. I’m just treating myself the best I can and not forcing myself to drive when I am frightened. I live in an adult foster care home and my provider and her husband are a great help. She tells me to gradually overcome the fear before the fear overcomes me. He charged my battery when it went dead from sitting out in the cold. Today, I just sat in the car and ran the motor for 15 minutes. It’s a matter of mind over matter. I’m not too sure of myself yet.
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Thank you to everyone, being able to connect has helped in this moment and this is where I am
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I hear you. The work situations here got so bad with horribly low pay and so many sexual harassment or hostile problems it is like an art form to get a female employee fired so you may be able to land her. I’ve heard it 12 years now without a break, even an experienced worker of 20 years now and treated to bad insomnia and worse…Pdr who won’t treat sleep problems, gained a ton as is common for female with insomnia. Seroquel was helpful. May need to just go to sliding fee psych clinic and ask for seroquel. Take it cut up at night about 50mg+ increase it as you need…Rest is just background noise and screwed up weirdos bothering you. If you are having someone snoop your place, better to NEVER have money in there and own very little…Some just have a cell phone for all now & just use library if you want more computer for project. Can get okay enough windows phone at Wally for $50 like nokia brand and $40-60 a month for ATT or Verizon pay as you go service you can set up after visit to Wally World. Never ran out of data as I don’t watch video on phone…Can do really nicely with Amazon ebooks if you like to read. Won’t get $200 bill from library after something went missing.
You can probably get back on the check if you do quit your job and admit you are having medical problems to boss. Check may restart…Talk to case worker at the county mental clinic or call social security 800 # to confirm first.
You know, I had to pay like $20 a month on medical bills in order to keep my house & independent living. I made a ton of small payments but will warn you, at some point I ran into another community scam and I had a lot more social problems from the community’s looney people who will screw someone with their job (even the churchies are encouraged to do this in some places locally). Had to just put the medical bills on credit card as proof I paid. Eventually after monthly appointment, I can get PDR to give me twice annual appointments and I don’t even live near the good mental care but travel several hours to use a cooperative pdoc. (Use family member’s address if you need to in order to get okay pdoc care. I know some of the care is terrible in some places.)