It’s like the more I get to know myself
The more I realize I’m delusional
When half my thoughts are scrambled signals
It’s torture just to ■■■■■■■ meet you
And not because I really want it to, be
But paranoia starts to haunt you, see
Taking over when I’m not watchin’
Cause staying stable is so exhausting
I’m not tryna be rude
when I walk away
I’m just scared that YOU might see
I’m not okay
I cry over the reasons that I have to stay
Because waves are crashing in on me every day and I’m drowning
but the medicine the medicine they gave
To my frightened abstract mind
Just amplifies the flashing lights
So when I tell you that
I’m just fine
Know that I mean
not to waste your time
Cause each mountain I climb
Gets higher when I reach the top
I love you so much that
I wish you forgot
The years that we’ve spent together
It would all be easier if I ran off
and just got lost
I wish that I could promise you I’m safe
but I’m just not
Feels like the more I get to know someone
The more I run from the confusion
When half my thoughts are scrambled signals
It feels like war just trying to mingle
And not because I’m not so lonely
Because the hold inside my hearts a cave
But being alone is the only way that I
Can cope with being awake
Fear and loathing leaves me rotten
Cause trying to trust you’s so exhausting
Not tryna be rude when I don’t say a word
I’m just scared cause It always ends with me hurting
I dream of drifting through a black abyss
Cause being awake means feeling this
You keep me tethered to the vessel that drags me through the day
But love is not enough to take the pain inside away
Don’t say a word it’s all okay
Today is just another day
So when I tell you that
I’m just fine
Know that I mean
not to waste your time
Cause each mountain I climb
Gets higher when I reach the top
I love you so much that
I wish you forgot
The years that we’ve spent together
It would all be easier if I ran off
and just got lost
I wish that I could promise you I’m safe
but I’m just not.