I went and took the placement test today. It’s been so long since I was in a school setting that I was kind of freaking out. My anxiety practically peaked. I was able to talk to people and stuff but it was like trying to do something when you haven’t done it in a long time.
I am worried about having a serious psychotic episode, or multiple ones, when I start school later this month.
Anxiety fuels my delusions.
It’s school or being forever an invalid. I’m in a catch 22. Face the extreme pain of panic attacks or stay home my whole life.
I’m worried, too, Nomad. I’ve been taking classes online and that’s been great, but I’ll be on campus an hour away starting the 22nd. Pretty freaked out.
I have faith in all three of you that you’ll all cope just great!
The crowd-fear might even just ebb away, as you slowly grow accustomed to large crowds!
My advice is to go early and find a “quiet spot” away from other people on campus, for moments when you need to sit alone and regroup. This is what got me through long days spent at community college, university, and graduate school.
My fave spot at the community college was the second floor of the library. Nobody went up there, so I’d sit on the top stairs and eat lunch alone. It was very isolated, very comforting (except when people wanted to walk up the staircase like, what? are? you? doing? I’m eating just kidding)
My fave spot at the university was the private study rooms in the library. I could shut the door on people, literally. When that wasn’t available, I’d go nap at a desk with a mini-wall around it to block people from seeing in.
Anyways, finding a place of solitude was a really good move during my college years! Let me deal with crowds, people, noise, expectations, internal noise, etc…I’d also have a special “nap location.” There was this patch of grass by the parking lot that I’d escape to between classes, throw my backpack on the ground to use as a pillow, and nap for a half hour. I tend to get overstimulated by being in crowds, so having a place to nap was also good for me.