I have been diagnosed with Schizophrenia and this was my delusion.
I woke up with a hard pound in my chest around the end of December in 2014. First thing I saw was this reaper looking figure above me with a scythe in his hands, a reaper I guess. I wove my hands around to see if it was real, at that time it did not feel real. After a few months I started seeing things that looked and was told to me by these voices was ghosts and spirits. I didn’t freak out or anything only got curious as to how this was possible. These voices started messing with me and telling me where everyone I knew around me was and was going to show up at the house and so they did. I was amazed and just grew more curious as to what was going on. After some time of talking to these voices I realized something they kinda told me that yelling into the ground or some crazy outburst kinda thing would do something. I was like “so I was like seein stuff and some things was crazy correct and others a bit out there.” I got freaked out thinking something was out to get me killed since the voices did say I was doomed. Wow ok so I am doomed and people want to fight or kill me. Man I got all kinds of paranoid. As long as the voices got me to believe something they seemed satisfied “like ok so your aliens then or no your god or no what are you where are you why are you doing this to me” so real how could someone or some being in space send me telepathic voices from so far away what can do this. I just didn’t know what to believe anymore.
Cutting the story short I was put in a hospital for the mentally ill and ended up talking to other people about what happened to them and how they came to be there but only some because most people stuck to themselves or just wanted to fight everyone because of severe anger problems but hey later those people changed after taking meds. I learned that a lot of things happened to other people like they happened to me I just do not know how extreme it was for them versus how extreme it was for me but I got insight meds and well its when I got out to mhmr that I really got to talk to nice people to help me out. All in all those voices are nothing but liars and tricksters and only seem to want you doomed or something to that effect. I went through two years of fighting with these voices and my whole story is long and I do have memory issues because of the constant talking in my head and I was feeling, smelling things and being put in pain from these ghost and spirits poking my insides I could see them doing it and it hurt all the time I could do nothing but curl up in a ball and rock back and forth. I lost so much sleep it really sucked to go through this.
I am on decent meds now I am doing great I can handle playing some games on the computers I built and watching some shows but sometime they do come back and make me feel something or say something just to remind me they are still there and waiting for me to let my guard down. I would like to say for all of us that suffer with this to not give up and keep putting one foot in front of the other we can not control these things and we are not dangerous people to be around we are just not understood by most people.
