Pretty much scared to go outside. Met my support worker today but forced myself to go for a coffee. Thought that was a big achievement but it didn’t appear he thought so.
Is the big team meeting this afternoon and I reckon they are going to moan about me. Makes me want to give up on psychiatry all together.
Maybe he was downplaying it to encourage you ?
I don’t take criticism well at all. Thing is my dr doesn’t get me at all. He thinks I should be a social butterfly or something. He doesn’t get how that really isn’t an option.
I think I am suffering because I feel I don’t meet their expectations of me. But I don’t think these expectations are clearly set or even realistic so I am assured to fail. This failure really sets me back.
I appreciate having no goals is a bad situation but right now I would prefer to have no goals rather than having these vague, unattainable goals. Does this make sense?
Yeah it makes sense.
@anon20613941 I can understand . For me even when I was living at my old address I only liked going out into familiar territory and in fact seldom went out(mainly for depot).
Since being here I’ve been out more with my stepdaughter but as yet not on my own. There’s a fear of going out on my own in case I get lost.
Like you I’m definitely not a social butterfly and like you I struggle when it comes to goals.
The only one I had was to lose weight ,and that was a resounding failure.
Man to me it seems that really tough to process that you struggle that way.
I’m guessing you have delusions of broadcasting and are very isolated.
I hope that these things start to drop in their importance over time and that relaxation can set in for you. You deserve it and I’m sure you still have a whole lot of life ahead of you.
I think you’re alright and well intended… I’m sorry there are permanently embittered assholes out there that like ruining everyone’s day.
Take care brother.
I’m in the same sad boat as you. Have been leaving my apartment less and less. When I do go out I tend to either have an anxiety attack or get agitated and paranoid at everyone staring at me. If I have to go outside I end up feeling totally drained of energy.
There are days when going out for coffee is a big achievement. Yet I do appreciate some push to prevent isolation. If you think the goals are vague bring that up. Maybe you can sit down together and make a list of goals you all feel are attainable. Seems when trying to break out of isolation all outings are uncomfortable for awhile. Maybe group therapy would help with that?
One of the worst things of going outside, is wondering whether I am giving off signals via body or facial mannerisms that say “Here’s the weirdo”
I worry the department of work and pensions is following me. Tbh honest I think some of the folk here are actually dep employees. These thoughts are fixed for me and have been for a decade.
I walked yesterday to the store to pick up the meds I won’t take (I have to get the script filled so They will THINK I’m taking them) but I got there 30 minutes before the pharmacy opened. I tried to walk through the store but this guy stared into my eyes and when I stared back he would not look away, so I got scared, I wanted to hit him. So, instead, I went outside to the drive-thru pharmacy window and sat there in -10 F cold, but I felt calmer. UNTIL a policeman drove past and looked at me sitting there…and I got scared again. I kept watching the traffic for more to show up. I got my meds and walked home, always checking behind me. My day was ruined by leaving my apartment, I couldn’t relax cuz I kept expecting the police to show up. Staying at home makes me feel safe…thank the deities for the Internet!
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