Wanting to isolate myself again

Hate going outside just now. Gonna get my carer to get all my food.

Really don’t want the CPN or support worker coming into my house again so will just meet them at the health centre. Should only be for my depot anyway.

Not cutting myself off completely. Will still stay in touch with my CPN over the phone and I won’t hesitate to contact them when I am bad.

Just hate folk coming into my flat just now. Don’t even want my Asda delivery men coming round. I get so nervous waiting for them to turn up.

Guess I am just nervous in general.


Wait until your med cocktail kicks in again in a week or two, you might feel differently.


You are right.

Saying that even when I was well I much preferred staying in. I especially hated folk coming into the flat. Not sure if it is the illness talking or is just me being timid.

The truth probably sits somewhere in between.

An example is my sleeping habits. I think naturally I prefer to be up at nights till the early morning. Don’t care much for daytime.

Now my doc said this was pure avoidance behaviour. I am not so sure cos when I keep that sleep schedule I am genuinely happy. Far less stressed.

Of course it is not ‘normal’ but after all I have been through I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as insane. More it is there are different definitions of sanity.

My parents actually prefer me when I keep such a schedule. They think I am happier and less anxious.


I swear you are my soul twin, J.


at some point, I was looking for food markets that would deliver food to by door.

but yeah, I live in a city so it was too expensive. :laughing:

you’re lucky

Me too. All break I’ve really just wanted to be alone. Social interaction ends up irritating me and being overwhelming. Hard to get my family to leave me alone though, especially without them guilt tripping me and complaining about how I’m not paying enough attention to them. Sometimes I need times where I can pretend like the rest of the world doesn’t exist.

Like you, I crave solitude, but it is dangerous for me. It seems like the times when I have gotten the worst in my illness were the times when I was the most isolated. I still want to be isolated, though, so I can have more time to work on my writing. I think it is a matter of finding the golden mean.

Same for me, solitude tends to trigger my psychosis. All my major episodes in college were due to long periods of isolation. I’ve been fine lately though.

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My psychosis gets worse when I’m alone, particularly at night. But I have a strong disdain for people and don’t particularly like being social, so I have to sometimes go out just to maintain my sanity to some degree. It’s a pain.