Saying goodbye is hard for me to do!

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Like I still hang with people I know from high school and am catching up with 4-6 this friday for brunch/lunch. And I think sadly I was still talking to my ex after 20 years not that long ago…

So for some perspective. She’s a bit of a mess and I made sure officially we are divorced but I see the good things in people and I let those red flags just go by…and by and by. You’d think I would have learned after all these years but I got a break years ago and my ex cost me my shot at a green card. Cost me so much money I still pay it off to my family who helped me.

Anyways. It’s finally over and it’s for the best but I still don’t really dislike the girl. Don’t get me wrong they are self centered and horribly nasty who just uses and abuses people including me financially still. I’m at the point though were I’m finally done. I called them an idiot and got some nasty stuff back…I don’t deserve that and they only ever see their side of the equation anyways.

So. It’s so hard for me but after 20 years or so I’m finally done and dusted!

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Sounds right to call them out on the behaviour you describe there

We have this problem with a few family members currently who think their narrative is the right one

They believe their own lies

It’s incredibly frustrating

You don’t need to put up with that kinda ■■■■

That must have been really disappointing :-/

You’re a good guy @rogueone - but you do sometimes have to call it when you see it, and you did!

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Thanks matey. Just should have done it years ago. I guess it’s good to get to this point so I can move on but I’ve been treading water being nice for years. Should have just let it go! Thanks mate for the perspective. Much appreciated.

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Oh if you really need a green card, I’ll marry you. And I promise I won’t treat you bad for the next 20 years either. I doubt I’ll even make it another 20 years. I’m kidding. Hey, I had an ex ex that I held onto for that long, he was a user too. You wouldn’t believe how that ended. I was in therapy for a long time trying to cope with the fact of it. I’m proud of you for cutting that cord and making that separation. It is not easy.

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Sounds like you are a very loyal person.

I don’t think it’s a bad thing but it comes with its own challenges like learning to let go and setting boundaries.

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Congratulations to you @rogueone

You have done the best thing for yourself.

You certainly did not deserve any nasty comments from your ex, that’s for sure. I’m sorry to hear that your ex behaved in that manner. Pardon my French, but that’s a p*** poor attitude towards you for all you’ve done to help.

You seem like a really good and loyal person! You should be very proud of that.

Saying goodbye is hard though. I hope you are doing ok! It can be so difficult!

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