I deleted my dating profile, even though I was talking to this girl. I donāt feel stable enough for any kind of relationship. I liked talking to her, but I donāt think it would have worked out. I need a break from it.
Smoke alarm wonāt stop chirpingš
ā ā ā ā me. My hallucinations decided to be more annoying and unable to be ignored since I took my phone back from my bf to use it for a bit. I hate when they hit me where it hurts.
They keep saying I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder because I āmake everything about me.ā I literally just share similar stories or feelings as a way of showing I actually relate to what theyāre saying because a simple āthat sucks!ā or similar feels really shallow; I also talk about my past and present struggles as a way of basically parsing out why Iām like this, like Iām doing therapy without the therapist. They also say that because I keep fiddling with my teeth and hair, which is mainly done because Iām worried I just straight up look messy and gross⦠Or they keep saying Iām just too obsessed with myself.
Aaaaaaaa
Nice and rainy today. Good Sunday sleeping weather.
So just vaping a little bit. Itās some sort of smooth tasting juice. I like it.
So tomorrow I am getting my new phone delivered to the post office. Itās just a cheap flip phone through Consumer Cellular. Should do the trick.
Enjoying a Coca-Cola now too.
Hope yāall are well.
It needs new batteries
I know lol, but itās too tall to reach @Kin
How about a chair?
Donāt have a stable enough of a chair, and itās still too tall using a footstool⦠just stuck listening to it till we can get maintenance or something to come
Iām real short, I stand on a chair or step stool and use the hot dog tongs to change mine.
Iām contemplating whether my life is a show or not. I get constant commentary in my head from time to time about ā ā ā ā I am doing at the time. I feel like my life is being exploited and Iām in a sort jail or something. Ffs I know itās not true but unbelieving what I already believe is really hard. Especially when sometimes I stop to wonder how tf I could have thought of something particular that pops into my head. It just doesnāt seem like me.
Thatās so exciting that youāre starting your new career as a nurse. How did your first day go?
They be mean sometimes. But when they nice they kinda draw you in. I think in the end itās just a game of making them work for you. Then your illness aināt a weakness itās your Christmas.
Welcome to the forum!
Do you have a diagnosis of schizophrenia?
I was diagnosed with bipolar and psychosis. But I wasnāt really open to the docs at the time. My parents think itās drug related (weed,psychadelics). But I feel my symptoms are more schizophrenic. I think it was onset by fluctuations in seratonin levels due to depression meds I was on a while ago mixed with frequent mdma use. I hope to gain clarity at some point whether weed is okay for me or not though. Rn Iām laying of all substances.
Yeah, thatās probably a good idea.
Lay off the herb until the chemicals in your brain readjust.
Just finished playing Call of Duty online with a friend.
Theyāre playing Johnny Cashās cover of Hurt on the radio.
I think the Dj is a little depressed.
Ugh that song is so depressing.
I though for many years he sang āmy swedish friendā instead of sweetest
Haha!
Yeah maybe Iām weird or just heard the song too many times in my life, because it doesnāt really make me feel sad.
It is a rather somber tune.
@Montezuma what was your first horror movie and how old were you? I was nine and saw āCarrieā at the drive in.