Hey mane. Speaking of Brits, I was jamming to some Billy Bragg earlier this morning. 
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Lol!
Itās raining here today.
I love a good thunder storm. 
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@Ninjastar please lock my new Say Anything XCV 
thread. I didnāt know about this one
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Well, I just shaved, showered, brushed my teeth and rinsed with mouthwash. Hell yeah, all clean and smelling purty.
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Wedding was a hoot and we partied until 3 in the morning, but today Iām out of spoons
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Morning everyone 
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Good morning 
Around 2 am here .
I woke up to wee and canāt get back to sleep 
.
Itās really windy here.
It has been raining.
Nice to be nice n warm in bed.
I have two Dunas and a blanket on.
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up for another day. the heat is back 90 degrees today.
so far mom has been really nice to me while dad is away. she made us dinner last night, and i went and picked up a bottle of cabernet for us. i had 2 glasses. didnāt get buzzed but ended up with a terrible headache. i asked her if she got a headache and she said no.
she wants to go camping thursday. in tennessee. a 5 hour drive. not sure if i can go or not, my phone pdoc appt. is on the 16th, i suppose i could just have them call momās phone. i donāt own a cell phone.
dad is on his way to rapid city, south dakota today, they have to drive 500 miles or so. they will be there 3 days. then head to yellowstone. havenāt talked to him, but mom was checking his live360 location.
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My Amazon order arrived. 2 shirts that are way too big. I feel like sending them back without folding them.
Well, I put in three job applications today, so I had a productive day. Hopefully Iāll hear from one of them in the coming days.
I havenāt been to bed yet; it is past 1 pm, and I am not tired at all. Iāve been up since 8 pm yesterday, so itās not like Iāve been up for terribly long, just 17 hours.
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Iāve been having an alright day compared to usual. I guess Iām becoming more used to the more abusive hallucinations and am learning to just ignore them/not let them get to me.
That being said, I havenāt gone to the hospital yet, admittedly. I fell apart when I started deleting his stuff off my phone and ended up staying. I hope I can maybe get a tele-visit with a psychiatrist set up for evaluation and new meds; the doses from the hospital would be too high to just start back on those (and I really want to talk to the new psychiatrist about avoiding Haldol until weāve tried literally every other possible antipsychotic my insurance will cover; it was giving me such bad tremors that I could barely hold a cig in either hand).
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If you canāt get a ride to the hospital,
You need to call an ambulance.
Youāre in a desperate situation and your symptoms are out of control.
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rain expected all week. wonāt be able to mow this week, and it will be long next time i cut it. we may still go camping in the rain, itās expected to rain in tennessee as well.
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Youāre not wrong. I guess my friends are worried Iāll just come straight back and make the same mistake. My friend kept delaying picking me up until I for sure had somewhere else to go to after treatment is finished. I keep alienating a lot of my options for housing, and some are too unsavory to want to live with because of extreme religious views.
I mostly worry about being a burden, although itās my fault Iāve gotten like this, so maybe I should stop acting like I can afford to be picky about where to go. 
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alot less robins in the yard now that my front trees are gone. i barely see them in the yard anymore hunting for worms. im going to replace the trees that got cut down with 7 peach trees. peach trees donāt get too big, it will provide a little privacy in my side yard, and fruit, and a spring bloom. i think it will be much prettier. the other trees were diseased and half dieing, they were not native trees, but naturalized to the area, they were evergreens of some kind, which we have little of in this area of the country. although people plant them in their yards sometimes. we do have cedar trees that grow in rocky soil, but thatās the only native evergreen iāve seen. iāve also considered red bud trees instead of peach, but want some fruit. and the red buds donāt do well in storms.
i need to make me a little meditation area outside, to commune with nature, itās hard with the non stop highway traffic to feel relaxed out there. maybe i will go down to the creek behind my house and set up a chair. i used to go fishing back there on rare occasions. but never caught anything thankfully. now im a vegetarian so will not fish anymore.
going to start reading about pagan religion and lore and observances in my spare time. i am not a sacrificial person though. i think i will develop my own beliefs and rituals.
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Wow that sounds greatā¦No NLP from my partā¦Anytime you want to chatā¦Im listening
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If theyāre 100% cotton you can shrink them by washing them in hot water.
Itās up to you though.
Personally I love baggy clothes because Iām a big dude.
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Well, I got a baseball cap thatās supposed to be delivered by the post office today. But the post officeās website is down.
Guess Iāll just stick me thumbs up my ass!!!
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I like baggy clothes, my yoga pants are nice and baggy but they always look like they need ironing lol
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