apparently i’m ‘paranoid’ again!
i haven’t logged onto this forum in about 2 years.
i’ve had 2 very short, transient psychotic experiences when under a lot of stress but nothing that keeps reoccurring.
i’ve had to put foil on the smoke detector because i’m scared that there’s a hidden camera in it. i’ve tried to have a look and i thought i could see something but then when i looked again it was gone.
i’m scared that my landlord is a pervert but in the meantime he won’t be able to spy on me until he’s able to put a new one in.
feelings about feelings (meta emotions) disappointment, shame, worry about the future. my concerns are very real but last time this happened i had to stop going to work, which caused a whole load of other issues (mainly financial). i was hoping to back to uni and study nursing but i won’t get cleared by occupational health if i spiral.
i’ve been hallucinating a lot. nothing that vivid but a lot of visual activity, potentially some auditory but i haven’t been hearing any voices. i don’t find what i see distressing but it distresses me that it happens.
sorry that this is long but when i try and explain how i feel to my boyfriend he seems scared and asks me if i’m crazy again i’m not crazy i’m just worried. and SSRIs make me hallucinate it seems so that will have to stop.
i was taking aripiprazole for about 8 months in 2021. i was skint and couldn’t afford to rebuy it but i felt fine so i didn’t continue.
i don’t know if i will be re-prescribed aripiprazole or another antipsychotic but the gp has referred me back to mental health services. i’m trying my hardest to stay calm and not have to go a&e. i hope i can just ride this out ? last time i felt a bit silly when i took the bin bags off the smoke detectors but we’ve had new ones put in.
I am sorry you are going through this and are able to get the help you need. I’m having issues with my paranoia at the moment, too. My pdoc said I should journal it since I’ve become aware of it. She’s hoping that can give us an idea on how bad things are so we can decide how best to proceed. Could you do something like this?
i really want things to go back to normal as well- paranoia is making me feel rotten all day every day!
i have found baking really therapeutic though, i love how it’s methodical and then you have a treat at the end so as you can imagine i’m baking something nearly every day at the moment. only thing is is that once i’m done i go back to thinking that someone is peeking through my window.
i will need to keep a record of the strange goings-on lately. thanks for your suggestion.
i’m not crazy i’m just worried. and SSRIs make me hallucinate it seems so that will have to stop.
so as you can imagine i’m baking something nearly every day at the moment. only thing is is that once i’m done i go back to thinking that someone is peeking through my window.