Some days, I just feel so helpless in this.
I don’t want to have schizophrenia, but I know there’s very little I can do about it, other than to keep taking my meds, regardless of how tired and slow they make me.
I feel so handicapped sometimes, and due to the vast differences in cases of SZ from person to person, I often don’t feel like there’s anyone I can really releate to, or who understands fully what I’m going through.
I used to be such a quick and intelligent individual, people would tell me this constantly, but now, after I got sick, it’s as if my brain has become slow, tired and weary. Everything tires me out, and a simple decision such as what to eat for dinner can take me an hour to make. I feel so retarded, and even my best friend is struggling to see the intelligence behind the “handicap” anymore.
Does anyone else feel this way?
As if their brain is keeping you from reaching your full potential, or leading a “normal” life?
How do you deal with it?
How do I get used to the fact that this is just how it is now?
How do I stop feeling so sad and helpless about this all the time?
Is this as good as it gets?
Same here man …my brain is much slower then before…!!! i feel bored always…!!
Work on ur recovery …and Do u know new meds are coming…!!! there is no any solution for Sz
cause it is also a solution itself…Its a hard road ahead … don’t worry we will survive…!!!
What dose of abilify are you on? I was on 20mg and it made me feel like a zombie. I’m doing ok on 10mg now in the sense that I don’t feel like a zombie and it’s keeping me stable.
You could try 10mg as an experiment. You can’t go lower than 10mg as that’s the minimum therapeutic dose for schizophrenia.
You’ll start to feel better once you drop the dose initially, but you have to keep a very close eye on things medium to long term to make sure you’re not getting worse due to the reduced dosage.
Is there any reason you’re on 15 and not 10? Did you try 10 already?
I don’t remember, I think it’s always been 15 for some reason.
I took some drugs back when the treatment started, and I was a bit closer to being psychotic than I am now, with more voice.activity and so on, so maybe that’s why they put me on that dosis, but I honestly can’t remember much.
I can’t lower the dose on my own, as the pills are 15mg each.
I do my best to have an optimistic attitude. To paraphrase Helen Keller I truly believe that when one door closes another door opens, but we spend so much time thinking about the closed door that we don’t notice the open door. Yes, schizophrenia has changed me in negative ways (door closed), but I do feel that schizophrenia has also changed me in positive ways (door open).
I feel as though my brain isn’t quite what it used to be, and that frustrates me. I have been taking Sarcosine and doing puzzle games. Both of those have been helping me a lot. The more you exercise your brain, the better you’ll feel. But you need a jumpstart to be able to get started in the first place. The sarcosine is a great jumpstart.
You are not alone as I experience similar things. I wouldn’t call it “retarded” though as that is directly related to very low intelligence or IQ. If you are able to post comments on this forum on the internet, you are high-functioning, you know? I prefer to call it differing mental processing speeds. Moving too slowly or thinking too slowly. I don’t know if it’s due to neurotransmitters moving too slowly but I think slow processing speed can definitely be a constant feature with some people with Schizophrenia. I definitely have the tendency to function/process slower than the norm. It can get so bad that I become unemployable; however, one with SZ can certainly qualify for government assistance, if necessary. I make more disability income than any job I’ve ever had – almost three times as much (the highest-paying job I’ve ever had was when I was in the US Army years ago).
I find I’m a decent writer so that can be a way to cope. Sometimes, what I write comes from my unconscious so can be interesting how the syntax winds up once I edit. Can’t do it verbally but can in the form of the written/typed word.
Thanks for the kind words, guys. I’m glad to see I’m not alone.
@SlowMotional: You’re right, retarded probably isn’t the right word. But I do feel inhibited in some way.
And yeah, writing is a good outlet, and one that has been suggested to me by several people. I haven’t written things for the sake of just writing, in a long time, but I might look into starting up again.
How long have you been taking the 15 mg Abilify? Sometimes it takes time to adjust to a new med. There certainly are other meds out there that might not cause that side effect. Beware that a lot of antipsychotics can come with akathisia or weight gain, though.
As far as getting used to being sz, it takes time. I rejected my sza diagnosis for years, refusing to accept it, didn’t want that added stigma, but I have come to accept it. Even if it can be a depressing thought in itself.
As others have said, doing things to work your brain (such as writing) is helpful; don’t let your mind become stagnant, exercise it. If you can work, that’s great, too, even if it’s just a simple job. If you can’t, as mentioned sz would qualify you for disability if that is necessary. Even with being on disability you can still earn up to a certain amount (I think it’s around $900/mo gross) while keeping your benefits. Again, if doing such work is a possibility for you. You would have to be completely off work while you apply for disability, though. I just suggest work because it keeps you active and out of the house, besides the extra money in your pocket.
Hi @Berru hang in there. Things will be ok. My voices used to be so bad I was nearly bed-ridden for almost a year straight.
Now after many years of being weaned off benzos and high doses of meds I can read full books and go outside.
Things do get better. Hang in there my friend. As to the slow thinking and motor skills I suggest talking to your doctor about this.
Also, a lot of us on here are extremely spiritual. As in we believe in some higher power or creative design that drives the universe. I suppose you can call this “God.”
It’s a little different than having a religion. But if you are religious hang onto that, because that can also be a great support system. I am only saying that having a sound spiritual system of belief has helped me immensely, and others that post on here.
I wish you the best. Again stay strong and stay away from any street drugs and try not to drink, as alcohol only weakens the effects of the meds. Exercise, even if it’s only 20 push ups inside. And rest a lot. And most importantly, stay med compliant.
having schizophrenia is so depressing. i hate the lil tricks my brain plays on me, like paranoia for instance. it makes me isolate myself bcuz i cant cope with the feelings i get that ppl are talking about me behind my back or lying to me. i hate having to apoligize for being crazy. i think most of all i hate being so lonely all the time. schizophrania is like living in another world from everyone else.i wish i knew how to feel less broken, but i can say this, there are alot of us n the same lonely boat lol ps nice pikachu
If only I had amnesia. Forget what it’s like to be a competitive normie. I just can’t get into this extreme underdog role. It feels like I’m in someone else’s body.
I always used to think ,this is as good as it gets and I accept it. Then what do you know, things got better. Now if I wouldn’t have accepted my condition I don’t know if I would’ve improved. But this cycle happened about 4 or 5 times. Now I’m pretty much a norm that takes AP’s. I did have to change meds a few times. I always feel better on the minimum dosage and it takes a while to find what min. Is. It’s not just about the meds you have to improve your lifestyle in a healthy way. I’ve also found my Christian faith helps me tremendously.
