I think Im a little obsessed. My vision is deteriorating, but not in the conventional sense
Its like something else is controlling my eyeball and facial movements. The voices always made fun of me for it but maybe theyre controlling it is the thought that keeps popping up now that theyve returned for the past couple months
I ignore it tho. Ive gotten better at that. Anyone have this??
I have a lazy eye but had it since I was born. Nothing was done to fix the lazy eye muscle. I read about surgeries but my eye dr said they’re risky and often fail.
I dont think your thoughts are controlling your eyeball.
Damn yeah Id be careful when considering surgery in that region. Maybe someday medicine will get there man
I dont fully believe it either, but I just feel wrong you know?
I don’t know if what I’m experiencing is the same thing, but my vision seems to be deteriorating too. I’m having trouble reading, I often see a black dot in the corner of my eye by my nose, have trouble focusing both eyes on one thing, I have erratic eye movements, all of which my voices also make fun of me for, sometimes I feel like they themselves are causing it. When I wake up every morning, and at various times during the day, my vision is blurry too.
Maybe its ap side effect like td? Let your dr know.
Maybe @fractaled I have really erratic eye movements, have to focus on things at the peripheral and sometimes look at thinfgs I dont want to look at. I got used to them making fun of it quick but the controlling thing freaks me out for sure
@Aziz no this started after I first moved to europe, wasnt on aps back then
That black dot is normal. I noticed that many years ago. I don’t see it often but I asked others about it and others have had the same experience with that “floater”.
Me too. I have a lot of tactiles, and the voices like to play with my eyes and brain. It can be disturbing.
Do you ever find it hard to focus both eyes, like the picture from both are colliding, rather than creating one picture? I get this a lot, and it can send me into a trance like feeling.
Tactile is the only one Ive never had but the rest? Absolutely
And they do like to mess with me any way they can. Focusing my eyes is sometimes difficult, I feel like its imbalanced towards the left somehow. Doesnt connect well
The trance tho, I get that when Im bad. I just zone into the alternate reality, kinda like the opposite of meditation lol
Whats the trance like for you?
It makes me tired, and cognitive symptoms start showing. Confusion, slowed thoughts, inability to form sentences or word salad. I can’t think with any purpose, and can feel like I’m floating. Thankfully it doesn’t last too long.
I also go completely black at times. It’s rare, but it happened just recently while deep in psychosis. It’s happened throughout my life but only during psychotic episodes. My voices definitely caused this last one.
Damn that sounds like me. Never black out tho
I think I get the word salad very often. I can be holding a good conversation then for no reason Ill completely forget what I was saying or just start saying gibberish. Pretty sure they know something is wrong lol
Not going back to the hospital tho fck that and suck a dick zyprexa or any typicals
Word salad is so difficult to disguise. It doesn’t happen to me too often, but I try to get out of conversation immediately when it does. Thankfully I don’t have to interact with a lot of people in my day to day. I don’t know if it’s related, but I also find I stop being able to understand what is being said to me at times. It’s frustrating af.
I’ve been debating on checking in, but am not convinced yet. I got off hard drugs again, so I’m just going to see how that goes first.
People at my work are very friendly and chatty. I think they think Im an ■■■■■■■ cuz I come off pretty uninterested or cold but its mostly the illness eroding my ability to communicate slowly when speaking. Really hard to get away with it
Yeah I checked in a couple months ago. Was probably worth it but it made me worse in a way. I end up encouraging others delusions and they encourage mine. Only thing I can talk about where the words come clearly
Up to you tho, depends on the hospital and your state and the people in tthere
I used to work in Corp, I know what you mean. If I never see a fake corporate smile again, I’ll be fine.
I’ve been to the psych ward three times before, my last time was ten years ago. They always made me worse. I doubt I’ll go inpatient, if I go at all. I’m determined to go as long as I can without medical intervention.
Yeah it kinda freaks me out that. I dont like it and grew up in an area full of people like that
I think its pretty admirable to try to go without it. I tried, made it like 7 months lol
IOP for me was the way to go but I happened to have an amazing counselor she was sick
Me too. I’ve always felt different from people with this behavior.
I don’t know how long I’ll succeed. I’ve had some, what I feel are close calls, in losing control. These instances scare me the most, and make me consider seeking medical help. But my boundaries haven’t been crossed so far.
I was born with a lazy eye too, but they did do surgery on it when I was a baby, turned out really well. All surgery is risky on some level but I’m glad my mom went ahead and did the surgery.
If I move my eyes really hard to the right you can see the scar where they removed the muscle from the eye, then reattached it to a different part of my eyeball so my eye points straight…
I’d recommend the surgery, but it went well for me. I had it done back in the 70’s when I was a baby, now a days the surgical procedures are more advanced so chances are it’d probably turn out good.
Yea thats what they do I read. I guess I need to find a different eye Dr as this one doesn’t want to do the surgery eventhough he’s an eye surgeon. I asked him many times and one time he just told me that I was born that way no need to change it.
Yeah, I’d get a second opinion.