Reproducing

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So I am now the only member of my entire extended family that I know of who hasn’t reproduced. With the birth of my nephew about a month ago this is now the case. It doesn’t bother me at all and people aren’t bugging me about it but it is interesting to be the only one without kids. It’s not that I never wanted to have kids, I did at one point, it’s not that I fear that they’d develop a mental illness, that’s not it. The reason I now decided I don’t want to reproduce is the stress of raising kids…it would just be too stressful for me and I don’t handle most stress well.

I like kids too, sure they can be annoying, even the ones you love at times, but they are worth having around for sure. In so many ways they see things that us adults do not. I’m content though to remain the uncle that I am and not have kids of my own. The stress would just be too much.

I’m not even entirely sure that I am capable of reproducing as if I was chances are I would have a very long time ago as we were not exactly careful back in the day…I guess I’ll probably never know and what does it matter anyway as I know it would be too much to have to deal with.

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My younger brothers had kids when they were much younger. It was odd being the oldest and not having kids… but in a way I feel I did… because I raised my sis. I was 11 when she was born and I got to raise her.

I would LOVE to have kids and raise them. I do like kids… I love being the uncle. I do tend to dote on my nieces and nephews. To me… they are pretty fun and cute.

If I don’t have kids… I’m coming to terms with that option. I do have nieces and nephews that I get to be part of their life. My sis is 18 and when SHE has kids… that will be the best for me.

But I think I could handle kids of my own. I would have help raising them. I’m trying not to stress one way or the other… just be ready for the hand life deals me.

(But I would love kids of my own.)

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I am in same situation. My sister has elementary age kids so I can go get my dose of kid-time then leave if I want.

Now that I’m 40, I don’t think I will ever be able to support a child even if social security disability pays 50% for kids. My career was smashed to bits by the nervous breakdown and resulting schizo. I worked a stint in social services and saw parents with babies turned away from thrift store when the weather turned cold…I’ve seen social services lie to people over at food stamp offices. I’ve seen disaster relief charity give people incorrect information purposefully…With welfare for families topped at $550 a month for a family for 5 years max and SSI families getting $700, I’m considering getting my tubes tied. Medicaid usually pays for tubal ligation surgery if requested.

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“Medicaid usually pays for tubal ligation surgery if requested”

How nice of them. :wink:

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I never felt bad for not having kids, There were plenty of kids already here that needed a hand (the parents too), so I don’t feel as though I was left out.

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I wanted kids for about 5 minutes back in 1988. I got over it. I don’t care about not having kids. I don’t honestly think I would be a good parent. I know I could never ALWAYS be there for them even if I had a wife to help me. It would not be fair to a wife or my kids. I remember though around 1997 when I was talking with my sister and her roommate. I just happened to drop that I would make a lousy father and this women said, No, you would make a great father!

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I don’t want kids. They scare me and I could never keep track of them, there’d be too much noise, too much chaos, me as a mother would be horrible. But my boyfriend wants kids, which is our only incompatibility, but a pretty big one. He has this idea that he’ll hire a nanny and I wouldn’t have to deal with them, but that’s ridiculous. Maybe in a few years I’ll be a little better suited for raising children, but as I am now, there’s no way.

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having kids is the most stressful thing you’ll go through. my daughter was born premature and needed feeding every two hours for the first month…ie: no sleep. then comes the teething stage, constant crying, then weaning, more crying for baby milk, then crawling where you need eyes in the back of your head lol, then walking, more eyes in the back of your head, the pre-school, then school…which brings home headlice for about 7 years on and off, the secondary school and teenage tantrums, puberty, girlfriends or boyfriends. that’s the stage i’m at now with a 14 yr old boy and a 17 yr old girl. the stress doesn’t get any easier. it just changes as they grow…but i wouldn’t change it for the world. xxx

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From Childhood-onset Schizophrenia: Introduction & FAQs

Genetic Chances of YOUR child getting Schizophrenia:

  • A person’s risk even if no known family member has Schizophrenia is
    1%. (So, look around at your child’s school. If there are 500
    students at that school, at least 5 of those children will someday
    develop this disorder.)
  • Chances increase for a positive family history for other
    neurobiological brain disorders such as bipolar disorder, and
    depression.
  • Chances if you or the other parent has it: 13%
  • Chances with both you AND the other parent have Schizophrenia: 36%
  • Chances if one of YOUR parents (you child’s grandparent) has it: 4%
  • Chances if a sibling of yours (your child’s aunt or uncle) has it:
    3%

The chance of being shot in the first pull of Russian Roulette is less than 17%. Would you play that game with a child’s future? I wouldn’t, and though I’d love to have kids, I won’t.

Kind of sucks thinking that since the dawn of life my ancestors have struggled to survive and procreate and I’m the one to end that line. At least I have nieces and nephews.

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I’ve never felt bad for having human children. Some of the reasons are selfish on my part, with me stress triggers my relapses and I know kids are stressful, and major changes in my body trigger relapses. Picture being pregnant, and the stress that would put on the body, now picture that additional stress on someone who can break down easily at stress. Secondly I don’t really care for kids. I don’t hate kids, kids are the future of the world, I’m just very uncomfortable around them. I think it stems back from my own childhood and being so badly teased by the other kids, kind of has rubbed off on me and has stayed with me over the years.

Thirdly there’s the reason that I’m afraid of passing mental or other serious health issues that I know are hereditary onto the poor child. I know that the kid might grow up to be a perfectly healthy person but the way my family is it’s hard to say. My brother has a daughter and she was born with a very bad kidney and had to have it taken out, so she only has one functional kidney. Now my brother, as far as I know, doesn’t have any serious mental health issues…as I consider mental health to be the same as physical health (meaning the brain is a physical part of your body and what causes mental illnesses is something to do with the wiring of your brain), I think my niece is fine in that department. But if I were to have a child knowing there’s diabetes, cancer, chrons Disease, Schizophrenia, depression, anxiety issues…the list goes on. What do you supposed the likely-hood of a child coming out of me would have some form life-long illness?

While if the small chance I ever do get pregnant (first I would have to become sexually active…hehm or abducted by aliens…>>sarcasm here) then I would raise the child because I don’t believe in abortion, unless having the child is physically a life threatening danger to the mother. I’m not about to go protest along abortion clinics and planned parenthood because I believe that decision of abortion should be left to the mother, I’m just saying my opinions on the topic, and if I were pregnant.

Fourthly, I cannot afford to have a child. I know many will argue that they couldn’t afford to have children either, but they did anyway. I know the government has programs for struggling families, but I’m already in a program like that for myself, is it right to bring in a child and expect the government to pay for it and me? I barely expect the government to pay for me, but I simply can not survive without government assistance…

While my brother has a daughter, my best friend (who is like a sister to me) has a son, and many of my cousins have children of their own I do not ever see me having kids. I do not see this as a bad thing either, it is my choice, and it’s one I want to make. I’m happy with my four legged kitty as my little baby girl…she’s spayed too so she can’t have a litter of kittens either. Me and her will grow old and childless together…

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that’s a very responsible attitude hunni. you would have made a good parent :slight_smile:

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I would love kids of my own, I just may not be able to, no time soon anyway!
When my niece was born people started asking me when I’d be having mine. I was shocked and it made me very upset because I’m having to come to terms with the fact that Id have to come off pills to go through pregnancy, then give birth and deal with the aftermath of possible postnatal depression/psychosis. I’d have social services on my back, my mum sees it in her job; they bring up with parents the psychotic break they had ten years ago, it angers her something chronic; just scares me! I don’t necessarily fear the first ten years of their life although I know I’d struggle with initiating discipline in my current state, I’m hoping my partner would be more assertive or I’m more assertive by that age. It would be the teenage years that scare me most as that’s when it all started for me. It’s the pregnancy that draws doubt of being able to do it. I do hope I’d be able to get to a stability that I feel comfortable to come off meds; I know the name of my first child would be Rowan/en…

Take care,
Meg.

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kids are fine if you dont mind being woken up and jumped on at 6 am with a millions needs and demands being made of you. like you i chose not to have kids because well i cant handle my own ■■■■ at times, but i can be added support for my neices and nephews i send them gifts and toys and will be there for them.

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oh boy, the topic of Mouse having biological children. Well I’ll have to quit preferring the company of men, then find a woman who can handle me, then marry her, then have kids. I am the last in my family tree, if I dont have kids, my name dies. It sucks.

I might just accept that my genes are bad, my genes are bad, my sister has bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder, one side of my family has alcohol problems, is neurotic, but very very intelligent and successful, the other side has ■■■■ like ■■■■■■■ personality disorder, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, my paternal side, the side I carry the name of. The thing is, there are only four males in the tree who have lived in the US, and each one of them has only had one son and named the son after themselves. I am the IV. The only other male with my last name who is alive is my father.

But at this rate I am more likely to settle down with a man, given my current behavior and kinsey scale score of 4.

There is something about women’s personalities that I don’t like. It’s the whole princess act ■■■■ I see a lot of them do, they act like they are so perfect and must require prince charming. I am not prince charming. I do not enjoy talking with most straight girls. I have an asexual friend who is female and she is fun to hangout with, but straight girls in dating situations often do things like not look me in the eye, be all about drinking or drugs, think of themselves too highly, ect.

I can talk with guys for hours after meeting them and kiss them, most of the time makeout on the first date, because their brains are wired differently and they think more like I do. My therapist talks about the spectrum of male and female thinking and how I am on the very end of the masculine side and how this might be the reason I am successful in dating guys and have less luck with girls.