Religions and delusions

Unusual Beliefs
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One thing (or most likely another thing that confuses me) is this:

Basically, I don’t believe in any God at all. I am not religious. I grew up with a religious dad, while my mum wasn’t religious either.

Despite this, I get delusions of grandeur, according to my pdoc, where I’ll think I’m some sort of God with super powers. I believe everyone around me admires me (or are jealous of me) for being a God with such powers. While I’m in this state, my sense of self is also great. I believe I have huge talents, that I have so much to offer to the world, that I know everything and that I can destroy people’s lives if I wanted to.

Why is it that I don’t believe in a God, but believe I am one, sometimes?

I also get obsessed (!) with the occult right before a psychotic episode, or during. I have a lot of biographies about occultists, like Aleister Crowley. But I do not think he was a good person. I just wanted to explain how obsessed I get.

I feel really ashamed talking about this (which is ironic, since this is a schizo-spectrum/psychosis forum, but yeah), so if you can relate to my delusion/pre-psychotic experiences or have a similar one, please share!

Thanks!

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Pretty much it’s like your mind was opened to the door of possibilities and the unknown things. Which make us misinterpret thoughts feelings, senses, sensations. The best thing to do is focus on facts and not indulge in filling your mind with crazy theories. Looking back I wished I’d not filled my mind with so much bs

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I’m the exact same. When things return to normal I’m left wondering what was real or not.

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@everhopeful Yes, same here!

Funny story: I went to a book shop during a psychotic episode and asked the staff “excuse me, do you have any books about the occult?”, and a dad with his son in the shop heard this and yelled “OOH, IS IT GOING TO BE WITCH CRAFT HERE?!”

And I still haven’t returned to the shop after that. Very embarrassing, oh my.

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Haha. Once I was in a bookshop and bought my book to the counter and the guy at the counter misplaced it temporarily. He jokingly said “it’s vanished”. And I said “well it is a book about magick”.

But yeah. Once occult thinking starts to reach obsessive levels, it’s like a warning to me that somethings wrong. I.e. a trip to the psychiatrist is needed asap.

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Hahaha!

It’s the same for me. It’s like it’s a red flag when it’s becoming an obsession.

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I’ve thought I was a genius before. I was going to write great books. It takes a lot of work to do that.

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I used to go to bookstores and look in the index of the book for the word ‘‘psychosis’’ and read about it…that was before the internet was around

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Was that like an obsession?

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one delusion I had in 2010 was my life story is in the next bible…

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not really I was looking 4 information and answers, to all about it

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Did you go to a doctor back then?

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yes since 2000 im attending a psychairist im 17 years on meds…my last psychotic episode was in 2010…

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That’s great to hear! Keep fighting.

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we deserve a medal of honor for having this

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I definitely agree.

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I can relate to all your post at one time or another.

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@Jonnybegood That calms be but also makes me feel sad.

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I’m the same way

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What’s your life story?