Relationship

So i was looking at my Facebook messages and I started going through some old messages to this guy I liked who also liked me back. It was right after I left the hospital and I was acting crazy. He tried so hard to understand me, cheer me up, and show that he was interested in me. But I was simply acting too loony. At one point he mentions he has an obsession about Pokemon. So i decide in all of my crazy wisdom to joke around about it. Not to be mean or anything, just to kinda clear the air with some jokes. Anyway I went too far and he ended up hating me. So we went our separate ways and I left embarrassed, to this day.

I messaged him a couple of weeks ago and he still hates me. My problem is I have been obsessed with him. He is a nerd like me and was actually interested in my ugly ass. I hate myself. Nobody that good looking has ever been interested in me. Some people around here think of me as the local eccentric loon. I don’t know…

I’ve felt like moving away but I need the support that comes from my family and friend. I hate myself for throwing away such a good thing. But I wish i could have a do-over. Sorry for laying such a depressing thing down on everybody but I just need to get it off my chest. Thanks.

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I messed up any potential relationship at university because I was in psychosis and unmedicated. I wish it would have worked out but my mind was broken at the time and I can’t change the past

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