I just recently entered a relationship with the most amazing guy and in just waiting until I ■■■■ it up. It’s amazing being with him and I smile so much but as j kiss him my mind goes over all the wrong things and stuff I could do, how I could hurt him or ruin it all with my stupid self destruct! Help me u need to be happy but I always ruin it
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Well you’re a young beautiful girl… You’ve got all kinds of oppurtunities at all times and it takes a person who is very secure with themselves and fulfilling to you for both him to not make trouble by getting paranoid or you not wanting to hurt him so bad and wanting to be with him only that you will feel uninclined to do anything that would spoil his sense of ability to like you as his gf…
Basically though… Take it slow… Don’t rush into it… Just start out as friends and take the time to prove it to both yourself and him that it’ll be stable and fulfilling…
If you think it’d just be a short term thing then just keep it as a friendship… Make sure he knows that and isn’t getting his expectation or hopes up… And even from there you might find something stronger.
That’s all I can advise… take it slow… Don’t let him get the wrong idea…
good luck, i hope things work out
Every time I’m with him I hear cameras clicking I know it’s just a delusion I keep telling myself it is but I can’t stop flinching or not wanting to be seen. I don’t want him to have to be the guy with the crazy ugly girlfriend
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I hope it works out for you, everybody deserves a bit of happiness. Are you on meds by the way?
Congratulations! I hope it works out for you.
When I first started dating Fiancé, I had a lot of paranoia. I was mostly worried that he was too normal for me, and he wouldn’t know how to handle my issues. What I decided to do was just be totally honest, and if he wanted to run I wouldn’t stop him. It has worked out really well for us. He thinks it’s interesting when I tell him about my hallucinations, and he will brainstorm with me to find good coping strategies.
Sometimes, I get into an agitated mood and snap at him, but later on I realize he didn’t actually do anything wrong, so I apologize. When we were first dating, sometimes he would accidentally do things that would trigger me, and I would get really upset, but then I realized that he would have no way of knowing what my triggers are unless I told him. So, after getting upset, I would explain to him why he couldn’t do certain things.
If you are hearing cameras when he kisses you, would it help if you only kissed in private enclosed areas? Or maybe your brain is telling you it’s too soon to be kissing him? I wasn’t able to even hold Fiance’s hand until we had been dating for about a month. Physical affection is frequently harder for us.
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I’ve known him a year and almost a month of dating but even when in sat close with him I hear that little click and it infuriates me cause all I want to do is pull away and find the source but I know I can’t. I hate my body so much as soon as his hand goes near my arm or my stomach I feel disgusting and fat and I can’t see how he’d ever like me let alone want to look at me!!
Maybe I should just break up with him
You should talk with him about the struggles you are having with physical contact. Explain your hallucinations to him. The hallucinations might be your body’s way of saying you’re not comfortable with close contact yet. If you picked your username for the reason I think you did, you have a very good reason to be upset by physical contact. Maybe you can work on increasing your comfort level by starting small.
With my fiancé, I had a solid rule that I would always be the one to initiate contact, and he could never try to persuade me to move faster than I was ready. That rule made me feel like I had control over what was happening to my body, and that made it easier to start touching him. I started with locking my pinkie with his. Eventually we moved up to hand holding, and then kissing, but it was still always my decision. He was never allowed to push things further. If I started tensing up at all, he would immediately pull back and apologize even though I was the one who touched him first.
Now, two years later, he is allowed to initiate hand holding, snuggles, and quick kisses. If I start touching his ■■■■■, he is allowed to enjoy it, but he is not allowed to touch me back unless I tell him he can. Sometimes, I still have flashbacks in the middle of sex, and when it happens he immediately stops everything and checks to see if I am okay. Maybe one day he will be allowed to initiate sex, but probably not. This arrangement works for both of us. I get to be in control of my body, and he gets to be bossed around in bed.
My point is, the right guy will understand that you have unique needs, and he will be willing to work with you. You are a beautiful, intelligent person with a strong heart and a very interesting personality. That is enough reason for a guy to try to work with you on a level you’re comfortable with.
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It has nothing to do with being young and attractive
When I realized Eric and I were experienced smart strong
And that he was always there for me hanging on my every word
I didn’t see any flaw any age any blemish
Plus he kisses like a dream
It sounds to me like you are going into this relationship with too many negative feelings about yourself. I know your feelings can be implacable, but try to moderate them a little bit. You could be starting a process where you always take the blame for every little thing that goes wrong, and you always take it on the chin just to stay in this relationship. Just a thought. Maybe you could very delicately begin to reveal your mental illness to this guy. Nothing too sudden. If this thing is really solid, he should be willing to take you as you are.
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Your username
I read that book and saw the movie
Why does it say Advertisement
Behind my username in my previous post on here
@Daze are you using a phone? On my phone, the Sarcosine ads don’t load properly, so all that shows up is the word advertisement.
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Oh OK I see
1515
My username yeah I like the idea of middle grounds and choosing when to go not just being gone to some far of place as soon as I leave