I was wondering if any of you guys suffer from a chronic illness outside of schizophrenia. I might have a rare genetic connective tissue disease, and I have been ill with both illnesses- schizophrenia and the physical illness. I just got denied to return to my university this year to resume my studies by my family members because they said, “You can’t go back to your university unless you are cured and healed!”
Last year, they said to me: “You can return after a year of being here!”, and “You’ll be allowed to return if you stay here until August!” But they have broke their promise. This might mean that I will never return because…it is a chronic illness. I’m scared beyond belief. I would have to restart all of my schooling again here in my home country. I already had 3 years of BA English abroad.
I’m just…broken into pieces.
Thank you all for being here.
There is no such thing as a “chronic” illness.
What is today considered chronic, tomorrow won’t be because a cure will be found for it.
Of course you shouldn’t wait for a cure.
You should squeeze the lemon already now.
Why do you need your family’s permission to study?
Can’t you do it on your own?
My family pays for my tuition- and I am an international student, so the tuition is doubled. In my family, rules are very important, and one of them is ‘obey your family members’. I love them, and I appreciate them; so I don’t want them to get hurt by me saying “No, I would like to return”. If they say ‘no’, then it is a ‘no’. My heart speaks out to return, but my family is against it. It’s very overwhelming to me…
I’m researching it, but I live in a country which is far from my uni. My university abroad doesn’t really have sister colleges here, so having transfer credits is difficult. I also have a trauma when I was in my elementary school here, so I fear a lot when I think of studying here.
Hello @anon10648258 .
If your family pays for it, that’s a different story.
I advise you not to waste time, though.
Find a university in whatever country and start studying, if your goal is to study.
Including in your home country. Not necessary to study in an English speaking country.
It is better if you are able to transfer credits or something like that, but not necessary.
You can also start anew.
Studying beats wasting time.
If you wish to work, you can try to look for a job without completing your degree.
Good luck!
I can’t advocate or advise, but in my life over the past year I’ve had to write off my whole remaining family except for my brother, and even he’s hard to get along with.
Families come with their own lexicon of rules and crap. If you want to do yourself a favor, you’d do well to make your own individual rule book.
I started over with “family” of my choice for a support network. My blood family just didn’t work out for me. It’s a sprawling alcoholic family system with its own language and totems and taboos. I used to have recurring nightmares of trying to speak with my mouth sewn shut. So I started my own blog and began expressing myself any way I damn well wanted.
@Borath your idea of making it on your own is nice(though not particularly original),
but you should understand that many schizophrenics are handicapped and rely on their family for support,
and can’t discard them.
I love my family, but beyond that my reliance on my family is absolute.
I have sz, too. But I understand. It’s taken me a long time to get stable on my med. I was fortunate to inherit this roof over my head. Before I started restructuring my life, I made sure my safety needs were met. Good point you’ve made. Safety first.
You have a lot of life ahead of you. I have to agree with Chess24 on your safety situation. Can you perhaps work safely toward establishing your own identity?
@Borath@Chess24
I appreciate your comment. I wish I could start anew- and I have thought about this for many years even when I was abroad. I have lived abroad for 10 years, and as a result, I don’t speak my native language as fluently as others who lived here for most of their lives. I have PTSD from bullying and abuse, both from teachers and students, in elementary school for 4 years. I know that university can be much different, but my fear is making me tremble when I think about studying here because I would get flashbacks often. So it’s definitely a difficult step for me to take.
Do you have many friends? Even internet friends can be helpful. It’s good having people to bounce ideas off of. In my experience, friends are people who have my interests in mind, not their own. They like me for me. It’s much different from conditional family ties… Take it for what it’s worth.
I don’t have friends at all in my home country. I can’t talk to my friends in Canada much because of the 15+ hour difference. So I feel alone all the time.
Try to get a job and put $$ into a savings account. Pay your own way if you have to do it a few classes at a time. It’s not right for your family to control you